--Alan -- Nega Hell 2: The Wrath of Malachite ################################################### MSTing: Search for Kotori, ch. 2 MST treatment by Alan Original by agent56 ################################################### "My love," Malachite said, as he gazed into her starry eyes, "what did you think of Fushigi Yuugi?" To this, Zoisite shrugged. "Wasn't bad," she replied, "The plot was good, though the dub script could've used some editing. The best part was the characters." Although Malachite had never considered that to be the best part, he nodded. "What did you think of them?" he asked. "Let's see... the leads were pretty interesting. I hope I'm not the only person who thought Miaka was amusing--" She paused, and saw Malachite bobbing his head in approval. "--but anyway, Hotohori left me with mixed feelings. Part of me said 'awfully appealing,' while the rest of me said 'obvious comic relief.' Now, as for Nuriko... what can I say..." Her lover didn't respond for a moment. She'd only seen the first four episodes, and thus far, Nuriko's secret had not been divulged. (Oh, man,) he thought, (I really, really hope she doesn't like Nuriko.) Suddenly, Zoisite smiled. "She's wIcKeD KEWL!!" she screamed. "Hoo boy..." Malachite muttered, as he sunk in his chair. A moment later, Jadeite and Nephlite entered the throne room. Their eyes took in the scene: Zoisite bouncing in her chair, doing a happy dance; Malachite with his head buried in his hands. The blond one turned to the other, and asked, "What's *with* them?" For a second, Nephlite put a hand to his chin. "Well, Jadeite," he said, "it's a long, difficult story. Let's just say for now that... they have *issues*." *** "Queen Beryl-sama!" all four exclaimed in perfect Fanboy. Then they fell to their knees. She looked at the four prostrate generals, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. "Dear, dear!" she said, "Flattery will get you nowhere. However..." Nephlite looked at Malachite. "Is she implying..." he whispered. "However!" Beryl continued, "There is no way out of here except through many, many years of penance. So sorry, but you'll have to get through a *lot* more than just 'Search for Kotori.'" In one of her hands appeared a wand, with which she bashed Nephlite over the head--from across the room. Jadeite looked down at the stargazer. "Ouch," Nephlite muttered. "Time to go," Malachite said. As he said this, the impenetrable barrier grew around Beryl's throne, "We may not be able to hurt her, but..." -- Door sequence now completed! #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The generals shuffle in.] JADEITE: Oh, go ahead, rub it in that we happen to be stuck in Nega-Hell... >Title: > The Search for Kotori Part 2 >Author: > agent56 >Censor: > G >Rating: 0.00 Reviewed by 0 readers MALACHITE: Pretty harsh reviews there... > >If anyone has any comments or questions on this story >or series please feel free to contact me at >agent__56@hotmail.com >NOTE:This happens before the X movie, before Kamui >leaves. >===================================================== >================= X/Pokemon Crossover No.1 The >Search for Kotori Written by agent56 Part 2 >===================================================== >================= > >"Kamui, run!" ZOISITE: --from the equal signs. JADEITE: Kamui, dance! Kamui, sing! > Kamui lifted his face out of the dirt >and spat a pile of rubble out. He then used his arms >to lift him out, he was a little confused at the time. MALACHITE: [deadpan] The confusion that hurts him. > >"KAMUI! Get your rear up and run!!!" He still was >dazed and had no idea what was happening, but you >should expect the least from a someone who was just >thrown by a Kangaskan. JADEITE: Ole'! > >"Oh fine! If your not going to get up I guess I'll >just have to..." Ash took out his Pokeball. "I choose >you Bulbasaur, get'm!" > >The Bulbasaur Pokemon lept out of Ash's Pokeball and >stood in front of the angry Kangaskan, who then >shifted his attention from Kamui to Bulbasaur. > >"Bulbasaur, use tackle!!!" NEPHLITE: They're gonna call a blitz. > Ash was fairly well >trained at all the attacks of his Pokemon. Bulbasaur >then charged forward at Kanagskan, hitting him in the >chest. Bulbasaur then bounced back leaving no effect, >after all Kangaskan was twice as big and had a >chest of rock. ZOISITE: --buns of steel-- JADEITE: --feet of clay-- MALACHITE: --heart of glass-- NEPHLITE: --eyes of gold-- > Then Kangaskan pounded Bulbasaur from >above, smacked him on the top of his head. Dazed and >confused Bulbasaur staggered around for a bit. > >"Bulbasaur rest. JADEITE: Bedtime for Bulbasaur... MALACHITE: Just wondering here--where did Kamui go? NEPHLITE: My advice--skip the crossover next time. > Pikachu go teach 'em how its done!" >Pikachu lept out from his standing position with Ash >and went to Bulbasaur's side. > >"PIKA PIKA!!! chu." He then ran at Kangaskan, jumped >high above his head and used his electrifying tail >power on Kangaskan, sending him into a state of >unconsciousness. > >"PIKA!!!!!!!!!" "Bulba-saur?" ZOISITE: John... MALACHITE: Marsha! [They embrace.] NEPHLITE: [whisper] Remember what I said, Jadeite? JADEITE: Issues? NEPHLITE: Yes. > >"Oh don't worry Bulbasaur, you'll do better next >time." Bulbasaur then teleported back into the >Pokeball he came from. Kamui was the starting to stir. > >"What happened?" > >"Well, let's see. You insisted on climbing the >sleeping Pokemon, so Pikachu and I went over him >perfectly, then when it came your time to cross you >woke him up. NEPHLITE: Yeah, right. ZOISITE: Wait... "your time to cross"? MALACHITE: Isn't that what Kamui will do to Kotori? ZOISITE: No, no, "to cross" would *not* be the correct verb in that case. > The Kangaskan got angry, chucked you into >the ground and then Pikachu kicked his butt. So if >I'm still very useless to you I'll just be on my way >and wish you luck on your search for this girl... >Kotori." > >"NO! I mean, please no, thank-you. JADEITE: You're welcome. MALACHITE: Do itashimashite! Arigato! Sumimasen! > If it wasn't for >you and Pikachu I'd probably be gobbled up by that >Pokemon by now. I need your help, you know this area." > >"Did you hear that Pikachu? He needs our help. Well >isn't that interested. And what if we refuse?" NEPHLITE: How'd he get so jaded? JADEITE: You called? NEPHLITE: No. Go away. MALACHITE: Ash is bitter... Pikachu constantly beats him up... Though Misty tries to intervene... [The others stare at him.] >"You won't. Why, because you're a good person and can >tell a guy in need of assistance when you see one." > >"Basially...yeah." > >"So if you don't object, I am going to pull myself off >this ground and continue looking for Kotori." > >"Sure." So the three started walking again. JADEITE: And so... the quest continues! ZOISITE: How dramatic. Yay. > They >walked for a terribly long time with silence until Ash >became confused. "I'm having a problem." > >"And that problem would be?" > >"Kamui, you heard Kotori scream and then she was gone, >you did not see her leave but for some reason you have >left the city and our now searching in the country for >this girl. Why?" > >"I have a feeling she is here. And besides, Fuma is NEPHLITE: [deeply] FUMA... YOU ARE HIS... MALACHITE: Fill in the blanks. >looking in all her regular hang-outs in the city, if >she is in the city Fuma will find her, if not I must." > >"Ok...uh...watch the game last night?" > >"What game would you be referring to?" JADEITE: Oh, you know. The game. > >"Never mind." MALACHITE: Well, that was an interesting tangent... > >As they swiftly walked along, looking for Kotori they >passed many interesting sites. Wildlife, waterfalls >and other attractions kept Ash from going completely >bored. > >"Do you know where we are going?" asked Ash. ZOISITE: I'd say Furinkan High School-- NEPHLITE: Lame! ZOISITE: --but it's been done before. > >"What do you mean?" > >"Do you have a specific place where you believe Kotori >may be?" > >"Yes." > >"What place?" > >"I don't know." MALACHITE: Man. This author must've spent hours and hours watching Rayearth, or Tokyo Babylon, or something. The dialogue is *perfect*. > >"(!)How can you not know but have a specific place to >go to?" > >"Let's just say I'll know when I get there." JADEITE: [Ash] Let's not. > >"Whatever. I mean, I've got nothing better to do than >follow around this guy that his to find a missing girl >who 'somehow' went missing and then he has to tell her >'something' and that we are going 'somewhere'." ZOISITE: Hey, it's the first episode of Sailor Stars. NEPHLITE: Huh? > >" 'Somewhat' you are right." > >" 'Somehow'. > >"Did you say 'something'?" > >"No sorry I was just think about 'something'." > >"About what?" > >"Oh nothing." JADEITE: Well, that's something! > >"But nothing is 'something'." > >"OK!!!! Shut up with this 'some' garbage." > >" 'Somehow' I believe you are onto 'something'?" > >Then Ash quickly smacked Kamui in the back of the head. ZOISITE: Ladies and gentlemen, the "Nuriko" skit! > >"Ah...the smack...now I know we are friends." NEPHLITE: ... MALACHITE: ... ZOISITE: ... JADEITE: ... > Kamui >then turned and punched Ash in the stomach. Ash fell >over and gathered his breath for a moment then got up >again. NEPHLITE: [Ash] I'll get you... for that... > >"You better watch your back." > >"Oh yeah." > >"Yeah." > >"What will happen if I don't?" MALACHITE: Oh... something. > >" 'SOMETHING!' " ALL: Aaaaaggh! > >Then the two fell to their knees laughing, grasping on >to their chests in fear of having a heartattack. Kamui >then stopped the laughter JADEITE: [Kamui] Stop it, stop it! That was silly. > and put on a serious face. >He sensed something. > >"Well isn't this a pretty picture." Meowth peered out ZOISITE: Oh, I get it. He sensed the scene change. JADEITE: Can you "peer out" words? >from around a boulder. > >"Isn't that a Pokemon?" asked Kamui. > >"Sort of, but unfortunately where ever this Pokemon >goes two others follow and those two are-" NEPHLITE: Oh, good. It's the villain versions of Melvin and Molly. ZOISITE: Setting new standards in incompetence since 1995. > >"JESSE." > >"JAMES." The two Team Rocket members jumped out from >behind the boulder where Meowth came from. MALACHITE: Spare us the speech! Please! > >"Looking for someone?" asked Jesse. > >"What have you done with Kotori!!! I swear I will have >my revenge if you have hurt her, I will put you in >your grave!" ZOISITE: Unlike the Pokemon people, he *means* it. > >"Kotori?" thought James. "I don't know what you're >talking about?" JADEITE: That's his idea of a white lie. MALACHITE: If he can't get lucky with Jessie, there's-- [Zoisite bops him one.] > >"Sure you do." said Ash, "Give her back!" > >"First, catch is if you can." NEPHLITE: So are spelling and grammar. > >TO BE CONTINUED... ================================== >==================================== Did you >like that? Well if you did then keep your eyes open >for Part 3 of the Search for Kotori. For the latest >news on X, Pokemon and Evangelion ZOISITE: Quick! Figure out what those three have in common. > check out >http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Campus/5956/ >anime.html > >Rate Story MALACHITE: On a 1-10 scale, I'd give it a 6. NEPHLITE: Is that good or bad? MALACHITE: Good, actually. The writer tries to be amusing, and hasn't thrown in a ton of characters. ZOISITE: Even so, I'd give it a 4 at best. The crossover is so inappropriate, I'd expect Lina... Lina Inverse... to... [She begins to sob.] NEPHLITE: I'd give this one a 6... for the moment. We haven't seen Kotori yet. I'd like to wait to find out how she's characterized. JADEITE: If you ask me-- MALACHITE: Which we haven't. JADEITE: But if you *did*... I give the story an 8. Two points off for the last line, though. NEPHLITE: Whatever you say. Let's be going. [They exit.] -- "Deep thoughts time, Jadeite," Malachite said, staring coldly at his fellow general, "Do you think you can handle this?" For a second, the renowned schemer paused to consider this. "I think I can manage," he said. His tone was military-style formal. To that, Malachite nodded. He asked Jadeite, "Do you have a specific plan to get us out of here?" Jadeite jumped out of his seat, and exclaimed, "Oh, this is just like in the story--" "No. There will be no need to divulge the conclusion, General Jadeite," Malachite replied, "Getting back to where I started... do you have a specific plan?" The Blond One [well, the evil blond one] sat back down. He replied, "Yes. I do." "Now, sir," Suspicious Silver asked him, "What is that specific plan?" Jadeite relished the moment by pausing. "It is... something," he said. "What do you mean by something?" Malachite asked, trying to stop himself from hitting Jadeite. "Someday, you will know. When that time comes, I will somehow tell you." Already, he was laughing at his own joke. Rising to his feet, Malachite told the other general, "'Somehow'? 'Someday'? 'Something'? These words are meaningless! Meaningless, I tell you." Still in his seat, Jadeite said, "Oh, they might be nothing to know, and they may be stated in a somewhat confusing fashion... but somewhere, they have a clear meaning." He smiled in an evil, evil way. "And what--" Malachite declared, "--do you mean by that?" He didn't speak for a full minute. Then he said, "Oh... something." At that, Malachite attacked his fellow general. It was a brutal, difficult battle... ...for Nephlite was peering at them from around the hall. "Malachite definitely has issues," he whispered to himself, "but Zoisite's issues... are a bit more complex. How will she... or he... react when they find out?" -- IN CONCLUSION... It'll be a few more episodes before all the "issues" are settled. Don't worry, though--all the characters will find out about their problems. The truths behind the matters may not be what you expect... so be warned! However, the Nega-Hell series will remain light and amusing. Well, if I haven't improved, please let me know. That way, I can improve. -Alan (September 14, 1999) e-mail: / Anime writings: fanficoutlet> "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. >"Ah...the smack...now I know we are friends."