"Attack of the Full-Moon Fiend" Original Fanfic by Wesley Reece MSTing by I.N.T.O. (I'm Not The Otaking) Disclaimers may be found at the end of this document. A party was going down at the Satellite of Love that evening. The entire bridge had been decorated with streamers, banners, and confetti. Mike Nelson and the bots were still sober, though, for they knew quite well how good Dr. Forrester was at interrupting them. "Crow T. Robot *is* the Frat Boy!" Crow yelled as he walked in a circle, a lampshade on his head. Tom Servo looked at his fellow robot, and said disdainfully, "You've really gone off the deep end this time, Crow. I thought it was strange when you started singing... but this..." With a can of Jolt cola in his hand, Mike walked over to Tom, and quietly said, "It's Crow. Don't worry about it - we need you to worry more about the plots of the movies and fanfics." He sighed, took a long drink, and glanced at the video monitor in the room - just in time to see Dr. Forrester's face appear on it. "Good evening, my little turkeys," the doctor said, rubbing his hands together, "I've just found a little fanfic that I'm sure will *ruin* your party. It's called 'Attack of the Full-Moon Fiend,' and... well, I wouldn't want to spoil anything!" He laughed abruptly. Crow shook the lampshade off his head and replied, "Ooh... another 'Sailor Moon' fic. I just *love* that series." The golden bot began to head for the theater. Taken aback, Mike turned towards Crow and yelled, "No, Crow! We have to wait for the--" The fanfic sign went off, catching Mike in mid-sentence. He slapped his forehead gently. Tom, trying to be helpful, said to Mike, "The fanfic sign." Sighing, Mike said, "Oh, we got fanfic sign," with more than a little irony in his voice. Without bothering to deal further with Dr. Forrester, he headed towards the theater, carrying Tom Servo with him. As they sat down in the front row, Crow said happily, "I hope this one stars Mercury. I *like* bubbles!" "Bad idea, Crow," Tom muttered. -- ><<<<<>>>>> MIKE: Funny... that was the title of a website before they changed it to "Sailormoon and the Sailor Senshi." TOM: Bad idea, Mike. I'm only going to say this once: never give the fanfic author ideas. >Starring in >Attack of the Full-Moon Fiend, Part 1 >Adrian Makes the Scene >A piece of Fan Fiction MIKE: Hope to God the whole thing isn't done... >Written by Wesley Reece >A.k.a. Bowser_DaHound or Bad Boy Bowser >LEGAL STUFF: Okay, the names I will be using have been "borrowed" >from the comic book "Sailor Moon" by Naoko Takeuchi. I will be using >English names for all the good guys, all the included bad guys, and >my original character. TOM: Oh, crap. I think we have self-insertion. CROW: Well, as long as he doesn't get it on with Amy. >This text is the property of Dawghouse Internet >Productions and Bowser's World Literature Distribution. No >copyrights were broken on purpose with this text, which may not be >distributed for profit. > >PROLOGUE: by Bad Boy Bowser d::-) >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= CROW: OK, guess we'll have to draw the line here... MIKE & TOM: Lame. >Hello, all you happy people, and let me welcome you back to my >imagination! This is my fifth Sailor Senshi FanFic. TOM: But isn't this a dub fanfic? Oh, crap... I'm steaming up again. >The reason for >this is that I actually wrote this story as a two-parter, using what >are now Parts 2 and 3. After writing them, however, I decided that a >"prequel" was needed to provide some background. Anyhow, my story >represents an alternate time line for the Sailor Senshi. This story >occurs after Rubeus and the Twisted Sisters appear on the scene, but >before Catsy actually defects. Furthermore, all of my future Sailor >Senshi FanFics beyond this trilogy will occur along this alternate >time line, which won't actually fork until after Catsy does defect. >So, now that I have said that, on with the story! MIKE: (author) So, now that I've confused you, on with the crap! CROW: (author) So, now that we've got all the Brecht out of the way, on with the lemon! MIKE: Crow! Remember what Tom said. >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= >(FADE IN: INT., CROWN GAME CENTER, AFTER HOURS) >(We see Luna and Artemis seated at one of the games, reporting to >Central Command.) TOM: Looks like they're stuck in script, too. MIKE: Anyone know who or what Central Command is? TOM: Don't *make* my head explode, Mike! >Luna: Central Command, this is Luna, checking in. New password, true >strength lies in friendship. >Artemis: This is Artemis, reporting for our new recon check. New >password, trust conquers all. CROW: (Luna) New password, the cliche is God. TOM: (Artemis) New password, Oscar is Satan. >Central: Passwords accepted. What do you have to report? >Luna: It seems that the Sailor Scouts have forgotten what makes them >strong. >Artemis: Yes, it is as if every time you turn around, there's another >argument. >Luna: I agree. Raye and Serena are the worst ones at this. TOM: Apparently, this author doesn't submit to the Davies school of female-female relationships. MIKE: So, Crow, what do *you* think? CROW: I'm trying to control myself, guys... >Central: Then you must bring the group back together. >Luna @ Artemis: Okay. MIKE: Cool, an e-mail address. TOM: So, would it be or ? MIKE: Tom! >Central: We have new information for you. Please touch the screen to >continue. (Luna and Artemis touch the screen.) A new ally will soon >appear. >Luna: What? >Artemis: You mean another Sailor Scout? >Central: No, just another ally. >Luna: Do you have a picture so that we can find this new ally? >Central: No, he'll find you. CROW: (Central) He is the self-insertion, you morons! MIKE: Prepare for deep hurting! >Artemis: What do you mean, this will be a male ally? >Central: Precisely. That is all the information we have for you at >this time. >Luna: Very well, then. This is Luna, checking out for now. >Artemis: This is Artemis, signing off. (The game screen dims to >black.) TOM: We apologize to Conrad Hart on this fic's behalf... MIKE: Flashback... Fade 2 Black... what's next? >Luna @ Artemis: Time for an emergency meeting. (Fade to black.) > >(FADE IN: EXT., THE CHERRY HILL TEMPLE, THE NEXT DAY) > >(We see the five girls who make up the Sailor Scouts sitting on the >steps.) > >Mina: I wonder what all the commotion is about. >Serena: Yeah, Luna sounded more anxious than usual this morning. (At >this point, Luna and Artemis appear.) >Artemis: Hello, everybody. >Luna: We are going to try to stay calm. Now, you girls need to >remember that we can't function as a team with you guys fighting all >the time. Do you understand? CROW: (Luna) We require your unquestioning obedience. MIKE: ThE mAsTeR dOeS nOt ApPrOvE oF bAd FaNfIcS. TOM: You do that too well, Mike. >Girls: Yes. >Artemis: Good. Now, we have received some new information from >Central Command. (Turns to Luna.) You tell them. >Luna: Okay. (Faces the girls and clears her throat.) Ahem. We have >just been told that a new ally will soon appear. >Amy: What? >Raye: You mean that there will be a sixth Sailor Scout? >Luna: No, just another ally. >Lita: I wonder what this new ally is like. (Fade to black.) TOM: If the self-insertion's anything like her old boyfriend... > >(TIARA SCENE SHIFT: INT., A HOUSE'S DEN, LATER THAT NIGHT) > >(We see a young man sitting at a computer, taking part in a 3-D chat. CROW: %You have entered channel #sailorscouts% TOM: %mars: do u think well see a 6th sailorscout?????% CROW: %mercury: what% MIKE: %luna: !!!NO U STOOPID SCOUTS IT WILL BE AN OTHER ALLY!!!% TOM: Sorry, Megane! But thanks for the inspiration. >He is fairly tall, somewhat hefty, and wears glasses. This is Adrian >Atkinson. As he looks at the screen, someone approaches his virtual >persona. A voice-over is provided for both the person and Adrian.) > >Person: Hello, Adrian. May I have a word with you in private, >please? >Adrian: Certainly. (The two enter a private chat room.) >Person: Adrian, I have been searching long and hard for you. MIKE: Great, just great. We get transferred from #sailorscouts to #sailorprowlers. >Adrian: Why me? >Person: Because you have been chosen to partake in a very important >mission. Now, you should've received a package today. CROW: Don't tell him it's a *mail bomb*! TOM: That would cut the fanfic by about two-thirds... >Adrian: I did. >Person: Have you opened it yet? >Adrian: No. >Person: Well, open it now. (Adrian does so. He discovers a staff, >two pieces of paper, a capsule, and a small chest.) You have always >thought you were different from verybody else, haven't you? >Adrian: Yes. MIKE: The dialogue! That's what I like about this fanfic. TOM: We apologize to LeVar Bouyer for borrowing that riff. No hard feelings, right? >Person: Well, I am here to confirm that. You are not truly of this >world. You once were a part of a great civilization called the Moon >Kingdom. You were known to some as the Full-Moon Fiend, a general >evil type. But to others, you were known as the Midnight Rider, >sworn defender of all that is just and good. CROW: Self-insertion sure is fun! TOM: Well, "Adrian" at least has a different name than the author. But he does have special, previously unknown powers, a history that dates back to the Moon Kingdom... sure sounds like a S-I. CROW: And don't forget his amazing 3-D chatting skills! >Adrian: Okay, but why do I discover all this now, when it has been so >long? >Person: Because evil forces have shown up here on Earth, and you are >one of a chosen few who will fight them. >Adrian: What do you mean, "A chosen few"? >Person: Take a look at this image. (An image of the girls and Darien >is shown on the computer screen.) These are the others who will help >you. While they may not look like much here, do not sell them short. MIKE: (Person) Pun not intended! CROW: Hey! Darien doesn't wear a skirt. MIKE: And every day I thank God for that. >They have already saved the Earth on two occasions in the past. >Adrian: Very well, but what else do I need to know? >Person: This computer is your link back to me. Not only that, but >the capsule in the package will make you immune to the evil magic of >the NegaMoon. That will be very important. Everything else will be >revealed on the two sheets of paper. > >(ORB SCENE SHIFT: INT., NEGAVERSE SKYBASE OVER TOKYO) > >(We see Rubeus and the four Sisters facing the center of the room. >Soon after the scene starts, the Wise Man appears.) CROW: Better known as the Wise Guy. MIKE: Or, to his real friends, the Wise Ass. >Rubeus: You have some news for us, Wise Man? >Wise Man: I most certainly do. There has been an energy fluctuation >recently near where you are stationed. This is extremely potent >energy that we can use for our cause. >Rubeus: So, is this a person or an item? TOM: (Rubeus) Technobabble - I hate technobabble! >Wise Man: It is a person, and this is what he looks like. (Shows a >picture of Adrian.) You will find him in the park every day at >sunrise. Make sure that you get to him before the Sailor Scouts do. >(Disappears.) >Rubeus: Yes, sir! Now, which one of you Sisters should I send after >him tomorrow? >Prisma: I'll retrieve him for you, Rubeus. >Rubeus: Very well, then. I want you to spend the rest of the day >preparing for this mission. Considering how important it is, we >definitely should not go into it unprepared. MIKE: (Rubeus) You're up against a likely self-insertion character... see you in hell! TOM: Thiry thousand random bad guys have been killed in fighting S-I characters! Stop the insanity! >Prisma: You got it. (Fades out of view.) > >(TIARA SCENE SHIFT: A BENCH IN THE PARK, AROUND SUNSET) > >(We see Amy and Lita sitting on a bench, talking.) > >Amy: It sure is a beautiful sunset today, isn't it? >Lita: It sure is. CROW: I guess this takes place in DDFA's "Waiting for Minako" continuity... MIKE: Crow, you have no shame. CROW: Thank you. >(As she says this, Adrian jogs to a stop in front >of their bench.) >Adrian: Hello, ladies. >Amy: Why, hello, sir. >Lita: I haven't seen you here before. Are you new here? >Adrian: You bet. I'm Adrian. Pleased to meet you. >Lita: My name is Lita. >Amy: I am Amy. >Adrian: Good. Now, I need to find a bridge that is not often used. TOM: (Adrian) I'm looking for the River Kwai. Seen it lately? CROW: That would be "Adrian as Ryoga," *not* "Adrian the almighty self-insertion character." >Amy: Just follow this path that way, and take the first right. >(Points to her left.) Why do you want to know? >Adrian: I like to practice my martial arts by moonlight on a bridge. >(Starts to leave.) I gotta go now. Bye. >Lita: Bye, Adrian. (Adrian leaves. After he does, Amy's wrist >communicator beeps. She answers it.) MIKE: (Amy) Thirty kilos? Sure, I can handle a deal like that. CROW: *Mike*! How dare you profane the holy Mercury?? >Amy: This is Amy. (The screen splits to show Amy and Mina.) >Mina: Amy, I just finished talking with Greg. He's had a vision >which says that the NegaMoon will strike tomorrow at sunup. >Amy: Who will be the target? >Mina: Somebody named Adrian. (Suddenly, Lita pulls open a window for >herself.) >Lita: Well, you better come to the park, then, because we just spoke >with somebody named Adrian. He may or may not be the one you're >talking about. TOM: But we all know that Lita's thinking about how much he looks like her old boyfriend. Oh, hell, this is self-insertion, Adrian probably *is* her old boyfriend. >Mina: I'll be right there. (The screen returns to normal.) > >(TIARA SCENE SHIFT: THE BRIDGE, THIRTY MINUTES LATER.) > >(Amy, Lita, and Mina are watching Adrian work out.) > >Mina: That's our guy, just as Greg described him. >Amy: What should we do? >Lita: Why don't Mina and I come back here at sunup tomorrow to make >sure he doesn't have any trouble? CROW: (Lita) Oh, but we certainly can cause trouble if you want it... just two girls and a self-insertion guy... >Mina: I'm good for that. TOM: Damn! Crow was right. MIKE: Both of you! >Amy: I'll tell the others. (Fade to black.) > >(FADE IN: THE BRIDGE, SUNUP THE NEXT MORNING) > >(We see Sailors Venus and Jupiter hiding behind some bushes. Soon, >Adrian appears and approaches the bridge. As he does, he takes what >appears to be a capsule out of his pocket and swallows it.) MIKE: (Venus) *No*! You ate my Pokemon! >Jupiter: There he is. >Venus: That's him, all right. (By this time, Adrian has reached the >bridge and started practicing.) >Adrian: What a day this is turning out to be. The weather is >absolutely perfect! (Suddenly, Prisma pops into view.) >Prisma: Come with me, Adrian, if you know what's good for you. >Adrian: I'm sorry. Do I know you? CROW: (Prisma as Vader) I am your mother, Adrian... >Venus: That's our cue. Ready, Jupiter? >Jupiter: Let's do it, Venus! (They spring out of the bushes.) >Prisma: Sailor Scouts, this is none of your business! >Venus: Well, we'll just have to make it our business, won't we, >Jupiter? TOM: "Taking Care of Business 2"! The Sailors break out of the prison to see the first fansub that doesn't suck! MIKE: Well, Prisma, I'd like to think this is none of your business. CROW: Five minutes 'til the next riff. TOM: Oh, knowing us, it'll only be one moment longer. >Jupiter: You bet, Venus. Anything involving the NegaMoon is our >business. >Adrian: Wow! This is great! It's only my first week here, and >already I've got three lovely ladies fighting over me. (Sweat drops >form on the girls' heads.) >Jupiter: Mister, you better go hide. This could get ugly. >Adrian: All right. I'm outta here. (Hides behind some bushes.) MIKE: (Adrian as Adam) I hid because I was naked... TOM: Yeah, but Adrian's self-insertion! Like he'd care about that. CROW: Just like DJ Croft in that second episode... Gyah! >Venus: Okay, you! >Jupiter: Let's rumble! (Suddenly, Avery appears.) >Prisma: Avery, what are you doing here? >Avery: Thought I'd help even the odds. (Telepathically.) Where is ?he? >Prisma: (Telepathically.) In those bushes behind the Scouts. You get >him while I distract the girls. You ready? >Avery: You bet! Let's go! (Prisma attacks as Avery vanishes. As >the fight goes on, a rustle is heard in the bushes. Soon after that, >Avery appears with a tied-up Adrian.) MIKE: Crow! CROW: What? I wasn't going to make a bondage ref-- MIKE & TOM: *Crow*! >Adrian: Let me go! >Jupiter: Uh oh! >Venus: Give him back! >Avery: Sorry, but finders, keepers. (She and Adrian vanish.) >Prisma: As much as I'd like to finish this, it appears I'm already >late. C'ya! (She vanishes.) TOM: C'ya... any relation to C-ko? >Venus: We better tell the others. (Activates her communicator.) > >(ORB SCENE SHIFT: INT., NEGAVERSE SKYBASE OVER TOKYO) > >(As the scene starts, Avery and Prisma appear with Adrian. Absent >from the scene are Birdie and Catsy.) > >Rubeus: Well done, Sisters. >Avery: No sweat, boss. >Prisma: Piece of cake. CROW: (Prisma) Speaking of which... I'm *hungry*! MIKE: No, that would be Lina Inverse. >Rubeus: Now on to business. Wise Man! (The Wise Man appears with >the NegaMoon Strobe.) We are ready. >Wise Man: Good. (Touches Adrian's head with the Strobe, causing a >green Crystal to appear.) As long as you bear this Crystal, you will >work for us. >Adrian: (blankly) Yes, sir. >Rubeus: Excellent. Now, go down to Tokyo and befriend the Sailor >Scouts. That way, they won't suspect you. We will summon you when >we need you. TOM: (Rubeus) Nobody will suspect a thing! Bwa ha ha... >Adrian: You got it. (He vanishes.) > >(TIARA SCENE SHIFT: INT., ADRIAN'S DEN, LATER THAT DAY) > >(We see Adrian and his informant in another 3-D chat.) MIKE: %You have entered channel #negaverse% CROW: %eviladrian: hey dude i just got out of skool% TOM: %informant: good have you got the planz 4 trapping d sailor scoutz% CROW: %eviladrian: of course i do i m a selfinsertion chara!!!!% MIKE: God, that's fun. > >Adrian: Phase 1 is now completed. >Person: Very good. You are to follow the plan to the letter. >Otherwise, we will not be able to advise you. >Adrian: You bet! (Fade to black.) > ><<<<>>>> TOM: (author) You may consider this a threat. MIKE: Well, it wasn't *that* bad. There were a couple spelling mistakes, some very dull conversation, but everyone pretty much stayed in character. And we don't *know* if Adrian is self-insertion or not yet. > >CLOSING NOTES: I shall make the conclusion short and sweet on this >one. I still have no E-mail account to speak of. Not only that, but >I will be working on a Sailor Moon Saga which will see them meeting >characters they never thought they'd meet face-to-face, including >your's truly. So until then, sayonara. (Everyone sweatdrops.) CROW: Oh, shit... we haven't even gotten to the self-insertion yet. TOM: The hell? But Adrian acts so much like one... MIKE: Maybe this is one of those authors with a split personality... CROW: Anyway, I'm ready to go. Gotta stay in shape for the next chapter. MIKE & TOM: Agreed! (Mike and the bots leave the theater as the fanfic finally does fade to black.) -- Disclaimers: "Sailor Moon," its characters, and all indicia thereof are copyright 1992-97 Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha Ltd., and others. The English Adaptation thereof is copyright DIC Communications. "Mystery Science Theater 3000," its characters, and all indicia thereof are copyright 1988-1998 Best Brains, Inc. This MSTing was created by John Alan Riggs (better known as Alan or I.N.T.O.) on September 28, 1998.