--Alan -- Nega-Hell #5. Long, tedious, and curiously fun. #################################################### MST: Masks & Dragons, chapter 1 A "Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon" story Nega-Hell 5.1 Original by WandererD Treatment by Alan #################################################### Notice: This story has been re-formatted from HTML. Aside from a few space-bar errors, the original content has not been changed. -- That evening, it was dark in the throne room. Having ensured that the lights were out, Jadeite directed a flashlight at his face. "It wAs NOt alL that LONg Ago..." he said in his best DisTURbeD voice, "When yOU saW tHese EveNts..." >Dilgear lay dying having breathed his last breathe, counting the >seconds go bye till he left this world. "NoW... sOme tHree wEEks lateR..." From the recreation room, Malachite did an impression of eery organ music. He then sighed deeply, since he'd taken this assignment willingly. Jadeite continued, "WE prEsent... THe seConD paRt of 'PArty cRaZied'!" He then ran off to his room, since he needed a costume change and a voice change for the skit. A deeply, profoundly embarrassed Nuriko entered stage left. Clad in a traditional Xellos outfit, he shrieked, "At last, my despicably evil plan is falling into place! I shall use Dilgear as my pathetic puppet, and have Philionel all to myself! Bwa ha ha, nya ha ha!" As he ran offstage, he choked from the volume of the words. Jadeite and Nephlite, both clad in drag, replaced the cross-dresser on the mock-stage. In the most shrill Amelia voice he could muster, the yellow-haired general exclaimed, "Daddy's going to marry *that* hussy?! Decidedly non-kawaii!" Suddenly, the place to where Jadeite pointed had something in it. A massive metal cat statue fell from the ceiling. A voice inside the statue exclaimed, "You will not call me un-kawaii, meow! I am Luna, the beloved and devoted fiancee of Prince Philionel. Surrender before Luna the beloved and devoted fiancee, meow!" Curiously, the voice sounded rather strained, as if the person had just fallen from a great height. "AAAA--" Jadeite/Amelia screamed as he ran offstage. Just before he reached the door, he bumped into Malachite. The general was currently clad in a Zelgadis costume, magically-moving cape and all. Nephlite, trying hard to act as Lina, casually said, "Enough of these jokers. FIREBALL!" He launched a special-effects fireball at the cat. After the fireball had its effect--that is, none, the cat statue was lifted off the ground. From underneath it emerged Zoisite. Her hair was dyed blue, she had a red scarf around her hair, she was clad in a dress--in short, she was cosplaying as Luna from "Lunar." The non-cat Zoisite exclaimed, "Phil! You dropped your ocarina," and ran over to the still-collapsed Jadeite. "I would not do that if I were you," Malachite said, borrowing one of Nephlite's lines. Now out of character, he told Zoisite, "Come away with me, my love!" Nephlite/Lina put up his Glower of Doom. "How *dare* you!" he exclaimed, "I don't have to put up with this. FIREBALL!" Once again, he brought some fireballs online. By this time, Malachite and Zoisite had fled the stage. The simulated fireball hit Jadeite on the back. He immediately screamed, "Atsui! Atsui! Darn HOT!" Nuriko wandered in from the other side of the stage. Waving a hand toward the remaining generals, he called to them, "Um... hello? Is anyone listening to me?" *** "Good afternoon, Beryl," Jadeite said to the Evil One on the Throne, "How have you been lately? Are you feeling well?" She winked maliciously at him. The queen told him, "You should know better than to say such things, Jadeite. I do not feel well... I feel evil. Get it straight immediately. There may not be a next time." The blond general froze in place. Not one to care for others' needs, Nephlite stepped in front of him. "We'll take care of Stupid. Do what you wish, Queen Beryl," he told her. "Nice try," Beryl replied, "but I don't suggest sucking up to me." As she smiled--wickedly, mind you--she froze Nephlite in place with a snap of her fingers. Right then, Zoisite gulped. "We shall d-do your bidding, Beryl," she said, choking on the words. Once again, the queen had a look of boredom on her face. She replied, "Signs of nervousness bother me. Go away." Zoisite, too, was turned to a statue. (I'm the only one left,) Malachite told himself, (Better watch what I say.) As he thought these words, Beryl glared at him. "Don't try to hide it next time," she told Malachite. Nuriko looked around the room. For a second, he laughed. Then he asked, "What shall I do with them?" "Whatever you wish, gender-bender," the queen replied, "I like you. In fact, after this installment, you're free to leave. Just try to bring them into the theater." With those words stated, she retreated from the throne. The Star sighed. He drew a deep breath, and screamed. Instantly, the four generals un-froze. "Come along, children," Nuriko told them, "It's time for you to start behaving well." -- Door sequence: #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The generals and the Star enter the small theater. The seating order is the same as last time. From left to right: Jadeite, Malachite, Zoisite, Nephlite, and Nuriko.] >" I'm LAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEE!" Usagi screamed NEPHLITE: Emiko's "Genesis," page one. > as she ran at >Mach 5towards Jubaan High. "Usagi! I thought that after all you've >been through you'd atleast become a little more responsible!" A >black cat said as she ran after her.Usagi, ignoring her, pumped up >her speed to Mach 7, ZOISITE: Better hurry, Kamui... > which ofcourse, Luna couldn't catch upto. She >sighed as she saw Usagi ran and turn right, losing her from sight. >Luna smiledslightly as she walked back past a small dead-end street. >After everything that hadhappened, it seemed everything was back to >normal, except that maybe there wouldn't be anymore enemies for a >while, GENERALS: Hey! NURIKO: Poor babies. > it helped her a lot to see Usagi taking it as well as she had. >Back on the dead-end Luna had just passed, some rats were digging >into the trashcans whileothers fought. Suddenly, there was a small >popping sound, followed by sizzling; MALACHITE: Small Lady is back... and she's brought a sparkplug. > on thecement wall, directly >infront of the street a large black claw-finger opened a large hole, >strangely the wall didn't show any signs of being damaged as the >claw descended from itspoint of origin to the ground, followed by a >tearing sound. Behind the claw, an infinityof stars and novas could >be seen. NEPHLITE: Wow. Compared to that, we're just dust. JADEITE: Dust. Dust in the wind. [The others glare at him.] JADEITE: Sorry... > The claw pulled back and a human sized creature passed >through, it's features obscured by the shadows. Looking back at the >wall, the creaturesmiled, revealing rows and rows of white pointed >fangs. By now, all the rats were gone. > >------------------------ Sailor Moon; Masks and Dragons------------- >--------- ZOISITE: Masks, dragons, and rats. Lots of rats. > >Chapter 1 > >The New Student A New Enemy MALACHITE: Rather Slayers-esque, no? NEPHLITE: Agreed. [beat] STUDENT! The New Person, and the New Enemy? > >By Wanderer D > >Usagi did arrive late, and as she stood outside her classroom she >noticed a boystanding infront of Ami's and Makoto's class. She hadn't >seen him before, and he obviouslywasn't Japanese... with golden hair >and large sea-blue eyes. NURIKO: If he had blue hair, what would that make him? JADEITE: Luna. ZOISITE: You, Nuriko-sama. NEPHLITE & MALACHITE: ... > She was about to talk to him,when he was >called inside. Usagi sighed, another day alone in the hallway. >That's when shenoticed Minako puffing to get to class, and smiled. > >Ami and Makoto looked at the new student as he was introduced by the >teacher asNathaniel Hunter. MALACHITE: Nathaniel Hunter, Sorcerer Hunter! > If she didn't know better Ami would've >sworn that that name was madeup... she also half expected to hear an >obvious accent from the boy, NURIKO: [Nathaniel] Nathaniel no da! NEPHLITE: You do that rather well. NURIKO: Just think... I've only heard Miaka attempt to imitate it. > so she was quitesurprised (as many >others) when he spoke almost perfectly, his accent barely noticeable. >Nathan stepped forward after the teacher told him to tell about >himself. "Uh, hi.Well, um, well... I..." "Tell us what you like to >do." The teacherprompted. "Well, I'm a guitar player, I like to read, >write music and cook." Hesaid, while the teacher nodded. "Any >hobbies?" JADEITE: [Nathaniel] No, I don't have a stuffed tiger! > "Yeah, I know everythingthere is to know about dragons, >and I'm also a sword collector." One of the girlsclose to Ami asked; >"Why did you come here to Japan?" "Well, my aunt diedsome weeks ago, >and since she was Japanese I came all the way here to see her, >since shewas my last family member alive, and well, I liked it here >and decided to stay for awhile." MALACHITE: He "liked it here." How old is the kid? NEPHLITE: He must be Lita's brother or something. > Most of the class seemed to >feel sorry for him, since he was apparently allalone now, and trying >to avoid more awkward situations the teacher sat him next to Makoto. >Makoto sympathized, and knew that the death of a loved one was a >terrible thing, ZOISITE: That depends. Is he an Eva fan? MALACHITE: You're implying that he's a clone of Asuka. ZOISITE: I certainly am. > as didmost of the senshi. She looked at the new boy >and couldn't help to notice the saddenedlook in his eyes. She also >couldn't help comparing him to her old sempai. GENERALS: Of *course*. NURIKO: I'm glad that I don't have a tragic background. ZOISITE: Have you, Nuriko-sama, ever felt pity for Hotohori? NURIKO: Not like you think... NEPHLITE: ... > >When break finally came, all the girls gathered under one of the >trees, talking andsharing lunch with Usagi, who had, again, >forgotten hers. While she devoured the offeredfood, Usagi asked Ami >something. "Excuse me?" Ami asked, NEPHLITE: Meatball-head's been talking in Portuguese again. > eyeing Usagi'sfood-full mouth. >Usagi gulped down everything. "I said; who was that guy I sawstanding >infront of your classroom this morning?" "Oh, that was Nathaniel >Hunter, a new student, seemingly from the US." "Oh, and, did you >find anythingabout him?" "Not much... Makoto, where are you going?" JADEITE: [Makoto] Bathroom. MALACHITE: [Makoto] Back to El-Hazard. >Ami raised aneyebrow at her. "I'm going to see how Nathaniel's >doing..." she answered."Where is he, anyway?" Asked Minako looking >around. "I'm the only one whohasn't seen him yet!!" "Up there," >Makoto pointed at the building's roof,where a figure stood, reclined. NURIKO: Can you *do* that? ZOISITE: Well, Nuriko-sama, it must be Makoto who reclined. NURIKO: I wouldn't know. Oh, and you can stop calling me "Nuriko-sama." MALACHITE: Good. > >When Makoto finally arrived at the roof, she found Nathaniel seated >against the walllooking at the sky. He turned his head towards her >and raised and eyebrow. -Second time ina day- Makoto thought as she >approached him. He stood up. NEPHLITE: Well, I can certainly see the need for *that* scene... > >Usagi, Ami and Minako looked up at Makoto as she talked with the new >student. Ami hadtold the others what Nathaniel had said and, even >muttered under her breath that the namesounded made up, JADEITE: [Nathaniel] Nate Crisis Make-Up! NURIKO: I don't know. Maybe he goes by a Chinese name. > but, who >understood occidentals anyway? Usagi, as always, had been closeto >tears, and Minako shook her head sadly. Ami couldn't help but >remember what Makoto hadsaid earlier about his eyes, MALACHITE: [Makoto] They're so round... so well-drawn... ZOISITE: You're ruining it, dear. > and thinking >about it she could see what she meant. > >"So, you're a guitar player, huh?" Makoto looked at her companion. >"Yeah, I play other instruments too, but the only one I'm really good >at isguitar." "Classical?" "Yeah, once you can play a classic guitar, JADEITE: --then you can down-grade to one of those cheap $400 Fenders. >youcan play an electric one. More easily at least." "You also said >you could cook,Nathaniel." He blushed slightly. "Call me Nathan, >please. That's how my friendscall me, and I like it better." "Sure. >Nathan-kun" "JustNathan..." NURIKO: Hotohori said something like that to me... ZOISITE: What did you say to him... Nuriko? NURIKO: That's private, Zoisite-san. MALACHITE: ...! > He said smiling "Anyway, I know it's >not common now-a-days, but Ifind that cooking is quite an experience. >I especially like cooking for my friends, it'snice to see them >liking it..." NEPHLITE: In a different world, he could be Video Girl Ai. > "Hey, I like cooking too, maybe we should gettogether >someday to exchange recipes." "I'd like that," he smiled again.And >Makoto could see that his pain wasn't so obvious now. She was infused >with the JADEITE: *Evil Nega-Energy!!* [The others give him very evil glares.] JADEITE: Sorry. > warmfeeling of doing things right. They talked about >everything and nothing for the reminderof the break. > >That night... > >The park was almost devoid of people, maybe a few couples that >walked around but theywere all in their own universes, so they didn't >count. One girl of said couples had goldenhair and a weird hairdo, ZOISITE: Moon, I presume. JADEITE: Possibly Venus. NEPHLITE: Might be Uranus. NURIKO: I wouldn't know. MALACHITE: Or... possibly... C-ko. ZOISITE: *Dear*! MALACHITE: [sotto] Revenge is sweet. >she was the one that seemed to be in the farthest galaxy. As sheand >her companion walked, and left behind a small clear area where they >had stopped for amoment, a shadow dropped lightly near there. It >stood taller than a normal human, aboutthree meters high, leathery >wings protruded from it's back, NEPHLITE: Kamui's gone evil, Zoisite. ZOISITE: Leave me alone. NURIKO: Poor, poor Zoisite-san... > it's color blackened by thenight, >the only things that stood out were red glowing eyes and white teeth >that flashedwhen he spoke strange words. When it finished speaking >nothing seemed to happen for amoment. Then slowly, without making a >sound, NURIKO: A lot more of nothing happened. the leaf-covered ground around him shuddered,then it seemed to >flow upwards, grass, leaves, dirt, and all without moving, until >itformed four human-like creatures. JADEITE: Flower children! > They slowly seemed to flow >towards different directions,not leaving a mark of their passing, >it seemed as if something was moving under a carpet,never disturbing >the top of it, but it's form obvious. The winged figure stood for >amoment in the same place, then jumped upwards. It's wings opened >twice it's height inlength, then after hovering it flew over the >park. NEPHLITE: [winged figure] Don't mind me... Nothing wrong here... MALACHITE: Batman? > >Usagi, walked with Mamoru through the park, their arms entwined, ZOISITE: Ouch. NURIKO: They're just playing a little game... >when suddenly, theyheard a scream. > >A young couple backed away from the earth creature as it moved >towards them. Itsuddenly stopped where it was and it seemed that it's >flowing motions stopped completely,then restarted again. One moment >it was covered with grass and leaves, the next it was JADEITE: --a beautiful flower. NEPHLITE: Let me guess... R movie? JADEITE: Always the R movie. I blame everything on the R movie. MALACHITE: ... NEPHLITE: [sotto] He's been quiet lately. > dark soil, it >continued to flow inside out, as if digging. The couple backed up, >and thegirl screamed again when she saw another creature moving >towards them, followed by twomore. Turning around yet again, their >desperation evident in their faces, they bumped intoanother creature, >this one different, falling backwards, ZOISITE: [creature] Aaaaaa--- Thump. > they stared at the green >creaturewith wings and a long snout, filled with fangs, as it smiled >cruelly at them. "Youare young, a pity that your life will end so >quickly," NURIKO: On the other hand, you can die young! NEPHLITE: ... MALACHITE: ...? > it showed a claw at theparalyzed couple "but you have >seen what you shouldn't have. Maybe I could erase yourmemories, but >this is much more easy." As it raised its claw to strike... > >"Stop!" NEPHLITE: Good idea. I won't argue with that. MALACHITE: ... ZOISITE: Snap out of it, dear. We're leaving. NURIKO: Time for you to take the initiative, Zoisite-san. [They make their exit.] -- TO BE CONTINUED immediately! -Alan November 11, 1999 Breaking anime stereotypes for over a year! e-mail: ChrOtaku@xoommail.com Anime writings: fanficoutlet.tripod.com Elfquest spoofs: eq_addiction.tripod.com "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. "Fushigi Yuugi" is copyright 1992-9 Yuu Watase, Viz, Pioneer, Flower Comics, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. Stinger #1: >She hadn't seen him before, and he obviouslywasn't Japanese...