--Alan -- Transformation Sequence continues! More angst than ever, and all badly written. ################################################ MST: Transformation Sequence, chapter 2 Nega-Hell 17.1 Original by Alan Treatment by Alan ################################################ Nephlite wept. For the sake of the world, and his own miserable plight, he cried. "I wish... I wholeheartedly wish... that I hadn't become a Dragonball fan..." All around him, the room turned dark. "My plight is dark and miserable." Nephlite clutched his head. He was tired of hearing the voices echo in his skull. "I wish... I could send myself to Nega-Hell." He screamed. *** "Y'know," Malachite said to the others, as his voice suddenly became Chichiri-like, "These days, I find it increasingly difficult to care about anything." With tears flooding her eyes, Zoisite bawled out, "You mean you don't love me anymore? Waaaaa!" As an aside, Malachite groaned. "Oh, get off it, Zoisite," he told her, "I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about... well, you know... issues." The remark caused Nephlite's eyes to pop out. "Issues? Must we talk about issues again?" he asked. "No. Not those issues, either. I'm talking about controversial topics in general. Y'know, things such as online censorship," Malachite said, "So much has been said about it that I no longer care. These days, that's becoming more and more typical of me." Meanwhile, Jadeite was sitting in the corner, repeatedly slamming his fist on his computer. Nephlite stood aloof, half- looking at Beryl's unoccupied throne, and half-listening to the conversation. Zoisite sat alongside Malachite at the card table. "Now that we've set the scene," Zoisite told him, "I think I agree with you. Once I disliked anime. In fact, I still have a deep-seated loathing for Hayao Miyazaki--" Once again listening, Nephlite glared at her. "Heretic," he muttered. She sighed, then continued, "Well, at least I have an opinion. Have you heard my opinions on Tezuka, Clamp, Takahashi, Gainax, or Pink Pineapple?" "No. And I don't think I want to," Malachite told her, "Do get to the point, my love." "Very well," Zoisite said, "My opinions have been kicked around a lot, and I've given up one or two. The rest are either my personal convictions or just mundane thoughts. It's one of those things... hang on, am I making sense?" Though he wasn't even looking at the lovers, Nephlite quietly said, "No." Malachite suddenly stood up. "I may not care anymore," he said loudly, "but I think it's time for a good, old-fashioned Nega-Hell chair fight." He immediately threw his chair at Nephlite. The enigmatic general was stunned by the blow for a moment. Then he sprang into action, and threw a spare card deck at Malachite. "I don't suppose anyone wants to hear my opinion on the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund?" Zoisite asked, in a whisper. *** "Hello there, Assistant Pig-Keepers," Beryl cheerily told the four generals, "I have quite a treat for you today." Still bothered by the first scene, Nephlite asked her, "Must we go through this routine every time?" She glared down at him. "Shut up, minion. It's a genre thing," the queen declared. "That was a very dumb thing to say," said Jadeite, who knew better. Her unholy highness continued, "Well, back to the point. I'm sure you all enjoyed the half-fansubbed fic Transformation Sequence, right?" Malachite, semi-bored, told her, "The fic should win the Least Creative of the Year award. It proved to me that you can create nothing out of something." Though Beryl looked around, none of the other generals even bothered to speak their opinions. Only Zoisite said, "It gave me one more thing to not care about." "Thank you for those happy thoughts," the queen replied, "I think you'll find the second chapter to be equally amusing. Now go see the fic and leave me alone." Sulking, she put up the barrier around her throne. The generals exchanged glances. "I guess we just don't care any more," Nephlite muttered. -- The day of Lavos door sequence: #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The four enter the small theater. The seating order is the same no da. From left to right: Jadeite, Malachite, Nephlite, and Zoisite.] ZOISITE: Doesn't the formatting of the text look a little odd? JADEITE: Shush. >Transformation Sequence > > A Sailor Moon Fanfic Series > > Chapter Two: For One Brief Moment MALACHITE: --I stood in my boxers! > > > >In the majestic hall of the Citadel of the Negaverse there stood >two figures: Queen Beryl and General Jadeite. The elder gazed >at her subject in dismay, and then turned her eyes back towards >the black crystal that symbolized the Negaforce. NEPHLITE: [Beryl] So... JADEITE: [himself] So... >Just moments earlier, she had witnessed, courtesy of the crystal, >the monster's last minutes of life. "Another one is lost," ZOISITE: [Beryl] Another fool... MALACHITE: That line really doesn't work for her. >the queen said solemnly, "but this time, it was not the doing of >Sailor V. We have our oldest foes back again." > >For half a minute, no words were exchanged. NEPHLITE: [Beryl] Hmm... JADEITE: [himself] Hmm... >Then, Beryl turned towards Jadeite, who was standing at attention. >"General," she said through her teeth, "Assemble your forces JADEITE: You mean I actually had *troops*? Cool. >and prepare to double your efforts. We are up against Sailor Moon >and Tuxedo Mask--and I am sure that you remember them well. ZOISITE: Alas, Sailor Moon. I knew her, Malachite. >Meanwhile, the Negaforce demands more energy. I do not >recommend shutting down your covert energy-gathering operations. No, >instead, increase them... increase them so much that >even Sailor Moon will get caught in your web." MALACHITE: In other words, turn up the air conditioning! NEPHLITE: Ah, summer in Nega-Hell... > >Assuming it was his turn to speak, Jadeite replied, "Yes, my queen," >and added a salute. JADEITE: --and tapped his heels together. Achtung! > >"There is one more thing, General," she coldly continued, "Out on >Earth, there reside seven people NEPHLITE: The Seven Stars of Suzaku. ZOISITE: The seven dwarves. MALACHITE: The seven deadly sins. JADEITE: The seven self-insertions. >who house within their bodies the pieces of the Imperium Silver >Crystal. I order you to locate them and gather the pieces... so that >*we* might wield the weapon Serenity once used to keep the balance. MALACHITE: She kept the universe in check with an easily-broken crystal. Amusing, but sad... >Imagine that day, Jadeite, when the passages between the Earth and >the Negaverse will be clear once again - and never let go of that >vision." NEPHLITE: Don't lose your glasses. Especially after the nuclear bomb hits. ZOISITE: Might that be the *vision* of Escaflowne? >With nothing more to say, Beryl walked back to her >throne, and sat down, her eyes fixated on the Negaforce. JADEITE: [Beryl] Can you tell I'm bored? > >A moment later, Jadeite teleported out of the Negaverse. MALACHITE: "Perpendicular dimension" indeed. >He told himself, I will find the bearers of the Crystal's pieces... >and when I do, perhaps Beryl will raise my status. May the day come >quickly when I am no longer just a general! ZOISITE: [singing] Lord haste the day when my faith turns to sight... > >*** >Serena did not know the Tokyo of the night. JADEITE: I take it she doesn't dwell among the creatures of the night. MALACHITE: Help! Laura Branigan's lost her self-control. >Only fourteen, she had barely seen anything outside her own >district. But this night, like a night one week prior to this, she >was up at midnight, listening to the radio. MALACHITE: Now you can *hear* the uncut version of Gundam Wing. NEPHLITE: I bet she's listening to that "Big Shot" program from Cowboy Bebop. >Only Luna was there to share the experience, >and the cat had no interest in such human pleasures. ZOISITE: Are we going there? Let's not. > >"Tonight Radio Ten is broadcasting to the world," the disk jockey >said, NEPHLITE: We are live, baby, live! JADEITE: [himself] I'm on a Mexican radio, woah woah... >"And even though this is only the second week of 'Love >Line,' already we're getting a considerable amount of fan mail. We >have made it our policy to MALACHITE: --broadcast requests only! ZOISITE: --play all Eighties tunes, all the time! JADEITE: --silence and discredit all witnesses. NEPHLITE: [singing] This is the young girl's policy... >answer every one of our letters with a very special reply. But we >have one letter which has made a request of us - and so I will tell >you what she says... MALACHITE: You wanna know what she says? *Ask* her! >'It has been too long since I wrote to my love. >I want him to know that I have not forgotten him. Love Line, will >you play my request?' And so, from one Miss Haruna to a mystery man, JADEITE: The international man of mystery. ZOISITE: I wonder if it's one of the Nevermen. >here is 'My Only Love.'" ZOISITE: The love theme from Sailor Moon. > >Luna looked at Serena, who was stretched out on her bed, one ear >leaned towards the radio. The cat, curious what her human >companion thought of this, asked, "I find it a little strange that >*you* listen to this, Serena... why?" NEPHLITE: [Luna] C'mon, Serena. Give a reason. JADEITE: Why... Spock? > >Turning the radio off just as the song started, MALACHITE: Yet it inexplicably got on the soundtrack. >Serena sat up and shrugged. "It's really nothing more than >bullcrap," she said bluntly, "Molly recommended it to me, and now it >looks like I'm going to have to question *her* tastes. NEPHLITE: Certainly not everyone has the refined musical tastes that Serena Tsukino does. >Well, Luna, now that I've blown the last hour of my life, I'm going >to sleep. Go away and leave me alone." JADEITE: [singing] Why does everything bad always happen to *me*, and all my dreams explode in my face? >That said, she pulled a blanket over her body and closed her eyes. > >"What can I do?" Luna quietly asked. ZOISITE: Well, we could cue a dream sequence, but it wouldn't really help... >She sat down on the carpet and tried to go to sleep herself. The cat >did not bother waiting for an answer. MALACHITE: [Luna] C'mon, God. Give a reason for life. NEPHLITE: I think that line has about run its course. > >*** >The gates of Crossroads Junior High closed each morning at eight. >This only gave Serena a few minutes in which to get ready >and travel there, and it usually was not enough. ZOISITE: Oh, good. It's the Project A-ko morning sequence. Do we have to go through this? JADEITE: She has a tough time getting up. Maybe Serena should get a little of Mother's Little Helper. >On this particular morning, a Monday, she walked in, still looking >half asleep, and JADEITE: --out of commas. MALACHITE: Monday morning. Just can't trust that day. >noticed the schoolyard to be unusually quiet. With Luna waiting at >the gates, though, she did not bother wondering why this >was, and went into the building. NEPHLITE: Serena has left the building... well, maybe not. > >A few minutes later, Serena arrived at the classroom where she would >be spending the day. MALACHITE: Wow. Someone did a little research on the Japanese school system. ZOISITE: And here I thought it was a requirement for fanfic writers to be ignorant of it. >To her surprise, Miss Haruna was nowhere in sight, though most of >her classmates were. Putting all thoughts of Luna JADEITE: And her pictures of Lily. >aside for the moment, she walked up to Molly and Melvin and asked >them, "I heard our teacher's name on 'Love Line' last night... but >why do you think she's late?" > >Smiling wryly, Melvin looked at her, MALACHITE: Oh, good. He's in his perverted mood again. NEPHLITE: You mean he isn't always in it? >and said, "I didn't listen to the program... and I'm feeling awake. >Neither of you do. Maybe Miss Haruna overslept." NEPHLITE: [Melvin] Maybe I can sneak in a few pictures of her... ZOISITE: Is that Melvin or Kensuke? > >"I wouldn't know," Molly said plainly, "So, Serena, what did you >think of 'Love Line'? The music is OK, but I mostly like the >disk jockey's voice. JADEITE: Wow. I have a few fans! >Oh, and just so you know, my mother is getting better." MALACHITE: I was really wondering about that cliffhanger... JADEITE: The author skipped over half the plot. Lame! >Casually, she sighed. > >Just as Serena was about to voice her opinion, ZOISITE: Have I mentioned what I think of the Utena dub? NEPHLITE: No. Don't. >the teacher walked in through the door. "Sorry I'm late," Miss >Haruna said drowsily, slouching towards MALACHITE: --Bethlehem. It's the *second coming* of the teacher. >her podium, "Please... take your seats." > >The three students obeyed her request, but watched in mute horror >as Miss Haruna passed out just before she JADEITE: --fell on a plot device. NEPHLITE: --could reach her lecture on the Second Impact. >reached the wooden stand. A moment later, Molly said, "Someone >should probably call an ambulance..." ZOISITE: Ah, we're perceptive today. Is this Molly or Tomoyo? > >*** >Five minutes later, Serena, Molly, and Melvin were standing >outside the school, watching an emergency vehicle JADEITE: Just any vehicle? MALACHITE: I'm guessing it's a tricycle. >take their teacher to the hospital. "You know," the redhead said, NEPHLITE: I thought they weren't allowed to notice hair colors in anime. >"I wrote several letters to 'Love Line.' Maybe I made a mistake in >doing that." Her head was hung low. > >"Maybe," Melvin said quietly, "Did anyone else notice ZOISITE: That *is* Kensuke. He's in his perverted mood, so he's definitely going down. MALACHITE: Maybe it's Tenchi's dad. >that Miss Haruna was wearing a purple flower brooch? She never has >before... and I think it's suspicious!" He calmly laughed, wondering >if he really could do something to help. JADEITE: I thought his stint as Tuxedo Melvin was amusing. He became surprisingly competent. > >Serena stood there, stubborn and resilient. "I don't know about >you," she said, "but there won't be any more school today for >us. NEPHLITE: [Serena] School's out forever. Wanna listen to old Alice Cooper tunes? >I'm going home." Her head lifted high, she walked through the gates >of the campus, leaving her friends behind. ZOISITE: They've been left behind! I wish we'd all been ready... > >Now finding herself on the streets of Tokyo, Serena looked straight >ahead, towards her destination. She began thinking as she >went along, much to her own dismay. I should have told Molly how I >felt. The program must be a scam... JADEITE: [Serena] They kept trying to sell me defective merchandise. NEPHLITE: [same] I still can't believe I subscribed to Tokyo Pop. >but more than that, it's a waste of my time. Why bother listening to >sappy music and pretty-boy DJs when I could be doing what I feel >like? MALACHITE: So what *does* she feel like? ZOISITE: Muffins and custard. >Lost in her own mental maze, she walked right by Luna, who was >standing on the sidewalk outside the Crown Arcade, >and a few minutes later, right into Darien Chiba. JADEITE: Plob. > >"You'd best keep an eye on where you're going," the young man said >to her, watching warily as she stumbled back. He looked >her over from head to toe, NEPHLITE: [Darien] Heh heh... sleazy! JADEITE: Like Michiru said, such stock characterization. >and was surprised that he recalled seeing her from just a few days >earlier. > >Standing up again, Serena said to him, "You're the one who tried to >reprimand me after I flunked that English test. Call me MALACHITE: --princess. Ho ho ho ho ho! ZOISITE: --Ishmael. NEPHLITE: --Asuka Langley, queen of darkness. JADEITE: [Serena] No, I'll call *you*. >Serena Tsukino, please... for you're going to be seeing a lot more >of me." Sneering at the bishonen, she laughed haughtily. MALACHITE: I was right. > >Coughing deliberately, Darien replied, "Well, I'm Darien, and I must >say I'm not terribly pleased to hear that. Who *do* you >think you are?" His demeanor was becoming more hostile with every >word. ZOISITE: Look at his battle aura spark! > >Serena suddenly laughed out loud. She shouted, "I'm not like *you*!" >and ran off towards her house, not even stopping to catch her breath. > >Feeling more tired than ever, JADEITE: [Darien] I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open. MALACHITE: Someone had better get him some coffee. >the young man went back inside the storefront, and upstairs to his >apartment. He threw up in the toilet twice, and then went to bed, >alone. NEPHLITE: I think we could do without that image. > >*** >Just after Luna sighted her human companion, she saw an ambulance >driving quickly down the street in front of the arcade. JADEITE: And I bet there was a lawyer chasing it. >How strange, the cat thought, I'm definitely intrigued by all >this... and I wonder if Serena will tell me what happened? >Casually, she began to walk along the sidewalk, NEPHLITE: [dark] The Luna-tic is on the street... >when a young man knelt down in front of her. Trying not to look >alarmed, Luna sat down at waited. > >"Hello, kitty," ZOISITE: Hello, copyright lawsuit. JADEITE: I knew fan fiction was inherently evil. >Andrew said, "What might you be doing here? Let's see... do you have >a nametag?" After a little flustering, he found the collar that >Serena had put around Luna's neck. "It looks like your name is Luna, >and that you belong to the Tsukino family. MALACHITE: He's perceptive today. ZOISITE: This scene was much better when I first saw it in the S movie. >Well, I'd best be going back inside, to take care of the Arcade's >business. Have a good day," he calmly said, then went >through the electronically controlled sliding doors, and out of >sight. > >I don't think this day is turning out very well at all, NEPHLITE: [Luna] There's a plot device hanging over my head. >Luna thought as she headed home. > >*** >"Alright, Serena," Luna said threateningly, "I saw you, and the >ambulances. What happened?" NEPHLITE: [Luna] Who'd you mutilate this time? >She was safely behind the closed bedroom door with the young woman, >and felt free to talk. > >Serena groaned loudly as she turned over on her bed. MALACHITE: First, we roast the Serena to a golden brown... >"Look, Luna, Miss Haruna fell comatose before she could even reach >the front of the class. There won't be a substitute teacher available >until tomorrow. And that's my explanation. You'd better believe me." ALL: I disbelieve! >With a sigh, Luna nodded in agreement. Slowly, she turned towards >the prone Serena and asked, "Yes. But isn't it a little odd >for your teacher to just pass out? JADEITE: [Serena] Actually, she was struck by an assassin's bullet. MALACHITE: Heero Yuy gets around these days. >It sounds to me like something's wrong. Did you notice anything else >unusual about her?" The cat looked up at her would-be owner ZOISITE: My so-called owner. >and did not flinch. > >After a brief pause to collect her thoughts, Serena plainly replied, >"Melvin noticed that she was wearing a flower on her blouse. >I don't know where she got it... but I haven't seen it before." NEPHLITE: [Serena] In fact, I deny everything. I have never visited Roswell. I know nothing about the Incan ruins. I believe the pyramids are a hoax. I wasn't behind the deaths of Kennedy, Lewis, or Huxley. I have no connections to the Weiss Kreuz group. You've got to believe me! I swear it's all true!! >Exhausted, she turned over. > >"Miss Haruna was the one mentioned on 'Love Line' last night," said >Luna, who was gazing at the floor, trying to put the pieces >together in her mind, JADEITE: Ah, I remember the Rubix cube. MALACHITE: I still have my Simon. >"Is there any connection? I know the Negaverse will be active... at >least until they piece together the Imperium Silver Crystal." ZOISITE: Wait. Aren't Serena and Sailor Moon totally separate in this fic? > >Though still not entirely awake, Serena asked her cat, "The hell do >you mean by 'Negaverse'? And 'Imperium Silver Crystal'?" MALACHITE: Or "Destiny Prognostication Engine"? Or "Sunshine 60"? Or "The Matrix"? Or "Shijintenchisho"? Or... NEPHLITE: This truly is a mysterious play. >Half- interested and half-irritated, she kicked her right foot >against the mattress. > >Shaking her head in dismay, Luna reminded herself, She must not know >of her other identity. Serena and Sailor Moon are separate, ZOISITE: Like I said. NEPHLITE: Like oil and water. Or newbies and import laserdiscs. >and must never know that they share the same body. Dryly, she told >Serena, "Don't you worry about it. I'll be back in a few minutes. >And don't follow me." MALACHITE: So what's Luna doing? ZOISITE: I bet she's off to get groceries. Miso and rice... miso and rice... >The cat walked over to Serena's window, and jumped out of it, >towards the world that awaited below. JADEITE: I wonder how she even survives the jump. Maybe cats really do land on their feet. > >Christ, the young Tsukino said to herself, The cat's crazy. NEPHLITE: Would this be cat scratch fever? >I guess I should expect that from a talking animal... but what >*was* she going on about? > >*** NEPHLITE: She was going on about the *stars*! >Radio Ten stood on the outskirts of Tokyo, its tall, iron structure >overshadowing the smaller buildings around it. JADEITE: Yes. That tends to happen in Tokyo. MALACHITE: Anyone heard of zoning ordinances? >It stood before Luna like a shadow cast by a fire on a wall - the >cat did not know what awaited her inside Radio Ten, but whatever it >was, she feared the worst. This place is strange and remote enough >for the Negaverse, ZOISITE: --but convenient to shopping! >she thought, walking closer to the pedestrian gate that protected the >building from the outside world. > >"Funny... a cat..." NEPHLITE: A flying cat, maybe? MALACHITE: I'd like to see Nall show up. >said a deep voice a few feet above Luna. She gazed upwards, and saw >a guard in a blue uniform. He was armed with a pistol - clearly, she >would have to wait for his approval to come in. > >Standing her ground, ZOISITE: [Luna] I'll stand my ground, and I won't back down... >Luna purred quietly. Then the guard said, while still towering above >her, "Shoo, cat. Go home." He did not move, but Luna did, scampering >away from the scene as quickly as she could. JADEITE: We call it a strategic retreat. NEPHLITE: She's advancing backwards. >In her opinion, it would be useless to fight. >There would have to be another way of investigating the building. > >*** >Morning came again, MALACHITE: It does that a lot. Unless you're in Nega-Hell, of course. >ravishing Tokyo like a hurricane. But in Crossroads Junior High, all >seemed well, for the clean stone walls of the school served to close >off the institution from the world. NEPHLITE: If you ask me, Serena should be institutionalized-- ZOISITE: Enough of that. >As Serena walked over to her seat, she saw that Molly Osaka >was wearing a purple flower on her blouse. JADEITE: She's joined the Hare Krishnas! >Damn. This could be bad - I probably should warn her. Slowly and >sluggishly getting out of her seat, she approached Molly and said, >"Excuse me, Molly, but you did get that flower from Radio Ten, right?" MALACHITE: [Molly] Did I? Did I?!? Of course I did! Look, I've got the receipt right here! I have the official proof of purchase. You've got to believe me!! JADEITE: It's so hard to exchange merchandise these days. > >"Oh... yes," Molly drowsily replied, "They dedicated a song just for >me. Isn't that wonderful?" She nodded absently. ZOISITE: [Molly] Duh, down I go again. > >Coughing sharply, Serena said to the young woman, "No, it's not," and >snatched the flower right off Molly's shirt. NEPHLITE: That's not Serena, it's Utena. Go Utena! >Though her sometimes- friend's mouth was open from this turn of >events, all eyes were now on Serena. She said, "This may be a >dangerous item. JADEITE: It's just your run-of-the-mill cursed item. Only chaotic evil characters can use it. MALACHITE: However, it has a secondary use as a "priest-zapper." >I'd better..." just as she fell towards the floor, her eyes closing >as she neared the concrete. ZOISITE: Look, there's Paul Chadwick! > >*** >She blinked, and realized that she was staring into a bright >fluorescent light. Serena looked again, and found out that she was >in a bed - a hospital bed, ALL: [Serena] I hate this place. >and that Luna was by her side. "Good God, Luna," JADEITE: Good golly, Miss Molly... >she said, her voice cracking, "That flower was damn strong, wasn't >it? Last thing I knew, I took it from Molly, and... Funny, I now >feel pity for Shinji." NEPHLITE: Whoever *that* is. > >Luna, standing right on the side of the gurney, quietly replied, >"Don't worry about what happened to the flower. I think we have >our evidence. ZOISITE: I mean, it practically has "Kisenian Flower" written on it. MALACHITE: I didn't like the R movie too much, but it's sure better than this fic. >Just stay calm, close your eyes, and try not to think. Your problems >will go away before much longer." Glad that Serena's family had left >them alone for a few hours, MALACHITE: That scene was excised from the special edition. >Luna smiled doubly in expectation of seeing Sailor Moon again. > >"Alright, Luna... whatever," Serena whispered, just before she went >into a trance-- JADEITE: Nice transition. NEPHLITE: Blood and cherry blossoms! Blood and sakura! > >Sailor Moon sprang out of the hospital bed, and leaped onto the >floor. Smiling broadly, she said loudly, "The Negaverse has taken >control of Radio Ten... MALACHITE: But you wouldn't know it from the programming. JADEITE: I bet they started playing Air Supply songs. >and I shall stop them. Come along, Luna, I believe we can take care >of this together!" Without another word, the young warrior of the >Moon Kingdom rushed through the room and out of the window. ZOISITE: Man, the windows really get around in this story. It's like the bushes from Continuations. >All but impervious to pain, she landed safely on the ground and sped >off towards the radio station's building, as Luna followed closely >behind. NEPHLITE: God didn't make her fast. JADEITE: Thank you, Eric Lidell. > >A few minutes later, Sailor Moon arrived at Radio Ten's headquarters. >She rushed by the guards, right through the locked doors, and ran up >to the third level, laughing all the way. JADEITE: --and singing Christmas carols. Jingle all the way! MALACHITE: [Luna] *Man Christmas sucks!!!* >When she reached the office, she pointed towards the >head executive, who was looking very nervous as he sat behind his >iron desk, and asked, "Who is in control of 'Love Line'? Lead me >to the person, for they have done evil deeds!" ZOISITE: [Sailor Moon] Take me to your disk jockey, Earthling. > >"I... I don't know," the man said, stammering, "I've never heard of >such a program... we definitely don't run it." Looking for a >distraction, MALACHITE: I wonder if you can trick her with food? NEPHLITE: Nah. She's nothing like Miaka. >he looked to his right, and saw a blond-haired young man walking his >direction. Hoping that he had found the right person, the executive >asked his associate, "Do you know of something called 'Love Line'? >This... young woman wants to know about it." ZOISITE: Why'd he hesitate to call her a young woman? NEPHLITE: Because most people call her something else. > >Jadeite, quietly snickering, said to his superior in the company, "I >do. Now allow me to have a private conference with this woman." >Striding forward, he struck down the executive with a single blow, MALACHITE: Nice shot, Jadeite. JADEITE: *I* wouldn't do that. That's sexual harrassment. >and thrust his right hand into the man's chest. A moment later, >Jadeite pulled his hand out, which was now coated with blood, but he >now held a palm-sized red crystal. NEPHLITE: Nega-Fatality. > >Just as the Negaverse's general finished his evil deed, Sailor Moon >shouted, "It was you, Jadeite! I can not allow you to drain any other >people of their energy with your presents... ZOISITE: "Presents"? MALACHITE: Death is *not* a gift. Not even a mercy killing. >or defile those who hold the pieces of the Imperium Silver >Crystal." She readied her headpiece to throw at the general, all the >while staring at him. ZOISITE: [Sailor Moon] He's my enemy, but he sure is hot... > >"Oh, no," General Jadeite said confidently. JADEITE: [evil] No, Sailor Moon... I expect you to die! >He pointed his free hand at Sailor Moon, and instantly, her headpiece >was reduced to a thousand fragments. Alarmed, NEPHLITE: That wasn't alarming. It was just her headband. MALACHITE: I bet she uses it to get messages from aliens. And Washu. >Sailor Moon looked at Luna, who was standing by her, paralyzed by >fear. > >Feeling a slight surge of adrenaline, JADEITE: [singing] I get down, and he lifts me up... NEPHLITE: No, that's Audio Adrenaline. >Sailor Moon said to Jadeite, "You will *not* be victorious. Whatever >you may do, it will not work in the end." Silently, she prayed for >Tuxedo Mask to appear. ZOISITE: Or Tamahome. Or Heero Yuy. Or Kenshin. Or Twenty Masks. > >Quietly, Jadeite laughed. "Queen Beryl will not have it that way. She >intends to restore the balance. MALACHITE: The universe, apparently, has chemical imbalances. JADEITE: Don't worry. I'm constipated! >Even if all the Sailors unite again, she will have the Imperium >Silver Crystal to restore the balance of good and evil... in our >side." He raised his left hand, ALL: Jawohl! >preparing to telekinetically strike again... > >Jadeite was struck in that hand by a red rose. NEPHLITE: Nice shot, pansy-boy. ZOISITE: I was hoping for Akira Ilyujin. >"Damn you, Tuxedo Mask!" he shouted, then angrily gazed over the >area again, before saying, "I still have this crystal shard. MALACHITE: A shard of the High Ones' Palace. JADEITE: If this is an Elfquest fusion, I want Sailor Moon to be Jink. Heh heh heh... >We will meet again." He vanished, teleporting himself back >into the Negaverse. ZOISITE: Another dimension. > >"Thank you, Tuxedo Mask," Sailor Moon said softly, watching her hero >descend from the ceiling, JADEITE: Just like Mr. Bean. >walking in her direction, "I know that my headpiece will regenerate >in time, for it is of the Moon Kingdom. But you have helped me >again, and all I am left to say is... I love you." NEPHLITE: Do we have to endure a sappy love scene? MALACHITE: Be quiet. It might be better than the rest of the fic. >Calmly walking closer to her, Tuxedo Mask said, "Sailor Moon, I love >you as well, and you know it. But I know Luna will agree with me on >this - you must return to where you were." MALACHITE: [Sailor Moon] That's right. I want to return to that day. ZOISITE: Am I the only one who prefers Hikaru to Madoka? >After a brief embrace, Tuxedo Mask retreated into the halls of Radio >Ten. JADEITE: Bathroom break! > >Remembering her obligations, MALACHITE: Uh-huh. After her *awakening*, Sailor Moon fulfilled her *obligations*, and started *the beginning of the end*. >Luna said forcefully, "Yes. Sailor Moon, follow me back to the >hospital. Our deed is done." > >*** NEPHLITE: [Luna] We have reached the *stars* together! >On the third day, Serena rose JADEITE: --from the dead? I hope not. >again out of her bed, and went to school. This time, Miss Haruna and >Molly were there, and both were awake. "Well, Molly," Serena said a >few minutes before the classes started, "Still listening to your >little program?" ZOISITE: Ooh, she's nasty. MALACHITE: Serena's perfecting her Asuka impression. >She quickly gazed over at Melvin, but he was not looking in their >direction. JADEITE: Instead, he was perving on someone else. ZOISITE: I think we can give the "perverted Melvin" bit a rest. > >"I would have," Molly said sullenly, "But it wasn't on the air last >night. They even had a public service announcement saying >something that it hadn't even existed. NEPHLITE: And that proves it's a conspiracy, right? Ha! >I don't know what was going on with that." Suddenly sitting up, Molly >faced the front of the class. JADEITE: Maybe now she'll go to the head of the class. > >With a loud, clear voice, Miss Haruna said, "Good morning, everyone! >Could you all pay attention now? Especially Serena...!" MALACHITE: I think she's finally had her coffee. NEPHLITE: That's not Haruna, it's Yurika. > >Back to Welcome Page > >Back to I.N.T.O. Page ZOISITE: I just can't get I.N.T.O. this story... > >This page was created, by John Alan "I.N.T.O." Riggs, on September >28, 1998. For disclaimers, please see the indexes. > > > NEPHLITE: And there you have it. The story of Transformation Sequence is dead. JADEITE: Really? NEPHLITE: Unfortunately, no. There's six finished chapters. JADEITE: Crap... [pause] MALACHITE: Oh, well. Let's head towards brighter horizons. ZOISITE: With you all the way. [They leave.] -- TO BE CONTINUED in The Cry for Help, chapter 3-4 -Alan May 16, 2000 e-mail: ChrOtaku@xoommail.com Anime humor: members.xoom.com/ChrOtaku (Still under construction) Nega-Hell: fanficoutlet.tripod.com/negahell Elfquest spoofs: eq_addiction.tripod.com "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-2000 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. Stinger: >"It's really nothing more than bullcrap," she said bluntly, "Molly recommended it to me, and now it looks like I'm going to >have to question *her* tastes. Well, Luna, now that I've blown >the last hour of my life, I'm going to sleep. Go away and leave >me alone."