--Alan -- 3rd Nega-Hell story. Heads will roll! ################################################################## MST: Party Crazied! Run in at Seyruun! (Part 1) A Slayers (TV continuity) fanfic An alternative-universe NASM MSTing Original by Dilgear Brandof MST treatment by Alan (John Alan Riggs, the former INTO, etc.) ################################################################## Jadeite picked up the phone, and said, "Queen Beryl... there is something we have devised for your amusement. We request that you leave your chambers, and join us in the throne room." Malachite glanced at the somewhat odd general, who was dressed that day in a bunny suit. "Zoisite," he asked, "do you think she can appreciate this one?" His beloved nodded soberly. She said, "I think so. It's just evil enough for her tastes." "Still," Nephlite said, as he clicked a button on a stopwatch, "Do I have to do this with half a hand?" He pointed to the thick glove over his right hand, which made it appear as if his fingers had been melted away. Malachite glared at the fanboy. He sullenly told him, "We spent hours consoling you after that incident in the theater. Heck, I even spared precious paper from my printer to give you the manga translations." After scowling again, the silver-haired one thought, (That had better keep him happy.) *** "Well, lowly ones?" Beryl asked the quartet, "What small-minded entertainment have you to offer me?" As he bowed before her throne, Jadeite told the queen, "We have a clever skit, inspired both by 'Search for Kotori' and a... how shall I put it... classic movie. We call it 'The Blonde That Wouldn't Die.' Enjoy!" he shouted. All the while, he ran to the edge of the throne room, where "offstage" was. "This... should be interesting," Beryl whispered. Malachite and Zoisite walked onstage. They had placed themselves inside a cardboard car, not entirely unlike the cars on "The Flintstones." Malachite was at the cardboard wheel, and he was apparently putting the pedal to the floor. "Vroom! Vroom!" the general exclaimed. Right then, Nephlite ran onstage. Dressed as a wall--or at least a facade of a wall--he went right in front of the car. Malachite and Zoisite ran into him, but only the male general tumbled out of the car. Zoisite remained inside it, screaming "No!" very quietly. As Nephlite made a quick exit, Malachite dashed back to the car, screaming "KOTORI!" He reached over the faux-windshield, and lifted a large, round object out of the car. Cradling the mock- head, Malachite made his own quick exit. Zoisite, however, meekly took the vehicle offstage. A moment later, the gloved Jadeite ran on stage. He carried a table with him. "No time to explain," Malachite dramatically said to his assistant, "The operation must begin... to prevent the END of the WORLD." Jadeite said, meekly, "Some time later..." All Malachite had on the table was a puppet-head of Kotori. He'd taped it down to make sure it wouldn't roll. "Mr. Jadeite," he said, "I shall go about town to look for babes... um... bodies for my love. Keep a watch over her." "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Doctor!" Jadeite replied. Stretching his dramatic abilities, he pointed to an exit door and said, "In that closet... the results of your prior experiment! A hideous being called... KANOE!" Meanwhile, Beryl tapped her foot on the ground. "How much longer is this going to continue?" she asked. "Um... I guess we could stop it now," Malachite said as he broke character. Beryl slowly nodded in approval. "Good," she said, "for I have some more significant tasks for you." "You mean you didn't *like* it?" Jadeite shouted. As the four returned to the throne room, Beryl scowled at each one. She said, "You have time for your silly skit later. Now... entertain yourselves with today's offering." "Uh-oh," Zoisite said. She took the head in her arms, and lead the others into the theater. All the while, Beryl cackled. -- The Six Evil, Evil, Evil Doors: #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The generals take their seats.] MALACHITE: Wonder what Beryl has for us today? JADEITE: Yeah... you're right. She didn't say. MALACHITE: This might hurt. > Story Functions > Read Reviews > Author Profile > Download Story >Title: Party Crazied! Run in at Seyruun! ZOISITE: Seyruun... Seyruun... Can't place it. Fushigi Yuugi? NEPHLITE: Doubt it. >Author: Dilgear Brandof NEPHLITE: There's your answer. ZOISITE: That means it'll have... MALACHITE: (Uh-oh...) ZOISITE: *Lina-sama*!! MALACHITE: ... >Censor: PG13 >Rating: 7.00 Reviewed by 2 readers > > >Dilgear lay dying having breathed his last breathe, counting the >seconds go bye JADEITE: Time falls through the hourglass... > till he left this world. The wounds inflicted by >his own sword and Rodimus's axe lay deep within his body. > >"One," he thought, "I will kill Zel," NEPHLITE: [Dilgear] Two, I will cancel my subscription to Tokyo Pop. > The holes from the flare >arrow Zolf had cast burned through and through, still searing >pain was all over his body. Another second, "Two Rodimus," he >began hearing foot steps, probably the grim reaper. Another >second "Three Zol-AHHH!" Dilgear's mind screeched in pain as >hands touched him. ZOISITE: Not *there*. Please. > He heard giggling but then the sound was >farther away. A gentle light engulfed him and he soon slipped >into a dream, mist surrounded him. > >A figure stepped out from the void before him and laughed, "Your >pathetic Dilgear! MALACHITE: You have to say it correctly. Take me. "Pathetic!" ZOISITE: He does that so well. JADEITE: ... > You actually thought that you could kill me!" > >"Zelgadis?!" NEPHLITE: *Kotori*! MALACHITE: Haruka-dear! JADEITE: Pikachu! ZOISITE: MoKoNA!! > Zel continues laughing and Dilgear takes out his >sword and swipes it at him. Zel's image phases in and out >avoiding the sword. > >"Ah, what's the matter puppy dog?" Zel taunted, "Your little >knife isn't working? JADEITE: You insolent dog! MALACHITE: [Dilgear] How dare they make fun of my mighty sword? > Here I'll show you how it's done!" Zel >yelled(that rimes). Zel swipes his sword hitting Dilgear hard >making him scream with pain, blood gushed out of his body and he >kneeled there helpless. Zel Then delivered a death blow and then >Dilgear wakes up. JADEITE: Woah... > >Dilgear awakens startled and sweating in a log cabin, a fire is >roaring in a fire place near the entrance. There is the sight of >large kingdom in the background and a man in a Grey cloak is >watching over him. NEPHLITE: Gandalf? > >"Good! I thought you'd never awaken, that would but a strain on >my plans." The man reveals his hidden face and keeps the cloak >over his body, ZOISITE: It has to be Xellos. > "You were asleep for quite sometime, about a month >actually. I didn't know if you were going to pull through not you >have miraculous healing powers my friend." The strange man smiles >and his teeth shine a bit, his eyes are hidden by his semi long >hair. > >"Where am I?! MALACHITE: [Dilgear] Why am I dressed like this?! ZOISITE: ... > Who are you?!" Dilgear asked startled. > >"My name is Xellos, mysterious priest. NEPHLITE: Xellos no da! > You are in a cabin in the >woods near Seyrun, the trashed town where I found you is now >totally devastated by those...I wish you to help me meet again." ZOISITE: Huh? MALACHITE: Who'd want to destroy Seyrun? JADEITE: Or Seyruun? > >Dilgear quickly tried to get up and found it quite difficult to >move. "Here now you just can't go running off like that, you >still need to heal and exercise a bit." ZOISITE: Stupid moxibustion techniques. > >"What I need...is to find the ones who did this too me." > >"There will be plenty of time for revenge when you heal, besides >I am most interested in meeting up with the ones who did this to >you." Xellos said helping Dilgear back to bed. JADEITE: Nighty-night, werewolf... MALACHITE: Aaaagh! Not a yaoi scene! > "Now stay here >while I get you some food." Food Dilgear thought, yeah food, that >would help a little. As Xellos went over to the fire to pour >Dilgear some soup Dilgear mind started to race with suspicion. > >"Xellos why did you save me?" NEPHLITE: That... is a secret. > >"I couldn't let good healing practice just slip by, I am always >on the look out to help others," he said handing him the bowl. >" Besides it was the right thing to do." Now Xellos giggles under >his breathe a little. > >"Thank you, Xellos." > >"Good! You mean that you actually believed that story? MALACHITE: He had me worried for a second. ZOISITE: You're rather easy to fool. MALACHITE: Hey! NEPHLITE: [sotto] Issues. Always the stupid issues. > Your >easier to control than I thought," Xellos said smiling. > >"What?!" > >"This plan will go on VERY smoothly now. Now I want you to take >these." Xellos hands some books to Dilgear. "With limited magic >and your healing ability you will be most distracting...I mean >more powerful." JADEITE: D'oh! NEPHLITE: He's not *that* evil. > >Dilgear mind was still a mess and he wasn't shore what Xellos was >saying, but one thing was for sure, this Xellos had saved his >life and he did owe him. > >A few noises are heard as the camera ZOISITE: *Huh*? JADEITE: It's just a show. You should just relax. > is aimed from Dilgear and >Xellos to the window where Seyrun is. > >Bird's eye shoot of Seyrun. > >Streamers, balloons, music, action! It was all in Seyrun today >that's for sure! Kingdoms from around the world have come to help >honor the 500 year anniversary of the kingdom of Seyrun, MALACHITE: Five hundred years, and still incompetent. > people >lined out of the castle and the streets were packed with all >kinds of party animals. Whats more rumor was spreading through >out the kingdom that prince Phil was in love ZOISITE: Who does he think he is, Hotohori? NEPHLITE: We don't know when Amelia's mother died, do we? MALACHITE: No. Maybe we can put her in Hamlet's role. > and today would be >a special marriage if he had the guts to ask his stunning love he >had been taken by so quickly. But happiness was not every where >in Seyrun for Amelia was down in the dumps. NEPHLITE: She can transport from one garbage can to another. JADEITE: Umm... > >Cut to Phil's dressing room. > >"Wahh!," Amelia yelled, her fist flailing at Phil ((wow lots of >'f' sounds! Writing is neat-o!)) "I was suppose to be the bell of >the ball not that...oh-FLOZY!" > >"Come down my daughter!" Phil said picking her up and putting her >on his shoulder, still a favorite past time to give his daughter >a piggy back. But she was not so easily pacified this time, MALACHITE: Phil is the ultimate pacifist... and yet... Put this one together. NEPHLITE: Amelia is not amused. > "I >just think that this is the one and, well daddy has needs too >honey..." he said smiling ::Phil gets slapped:: ZOISITE: Hamlet the Sailor Scout. JADEITE: Slap him again. Go on, you know you want to. > >"How dare you be selfish! This day was suppose to be about ME!" >Amelia went on ranting. > >"Amelia! Quit Whining!" a familiar voice called to her from the >hall way. MALACHITE: Tuxedo Mask? ZOISITE: ... > >"Oh can it be? Oh yes! Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia quickly runs out and >Phil falls to floor with relief. Amelia jumps on Zel hugging him >and gets stabbed by his spiky hair. "OWW!" > >"Nice to see you too Amelia." JADEITE: Now do your head-butt. > >"Ah!" Amelia screams hurt a bit by the pain, "I-I-I miss-ed. you >too-o". > >"Hey don't forget us!" Gourry called from the back over by the >banquet tables, "Hey Lina share!" ZOISITE: She *doesn't* *do* that!! [Zoisite begins to fume.] MALACHITE: Umm... that's not what Gourry meant... > >"NO!" Lina bellowed as she grabbed the chunk of meat of the >table, "MINE!" [Zoisite ceases fuming.] > >"Oh come on just a taste...::thinks hard to get the food:: "Hey >look it's Shabranigdo!" Gourry pointed. > >"Where?" Lina looks around frantically half thinking, before she >can react Gourry snatches up the meat and polishes it off the >bone. > >"See that's what happens when you don't share!" ZOISITE: Lina-sama... MALACHITE: ... JADEITE: Crap... > >"And this is what happens when you don't listen," Lina brought >her hands together, "DEMO-" NEPHLITE: Now that is what *I* call justice. > >"Enough you too!" Phil yelled, "Now all of you help yourselves >while I prepare for my bride." Phil giggles about to leave. > >"Hey Phil," Lina called out to him. "Who is this distressed >damsel anyway?" MALACHITE: Naga. [Zoisite hits him.] > >"Well she, it, she wanted it to be a surprise especially for you >miss Lina." > >"What, a surprise for me?" Lina looked a bit puzzled. At this >time Lina notices a circlet around Phil's forehead. "Hey Phil, >whats up with the jewelery?" > >"Oh this?" he points to it, "It was a gift from my bride to be!" JADEITE: Any moment now, it'll probably explode. > >Back in the cabin again, Xellos explains to Dilgear the basics of >magic and teaches him a few spells. > >"I see," Dilgear began, "Incredible." NEPHLITE: [Dilgear] But what good is a fireball? > Dilgear begins to walk >slowly and makes to a table and sits down. Things were at least >looking up for him and those weird night mares of Zel were less >and less common in his dreams.( along with this whole nude beach >thing but...that's another story! =) ) MALACHITE: ... ZOISITE: Especially the part with Rezo. > "Where are they all now?" > >"In Seyrun celebrating the 500th anniversary. You could..." > >"No, I want to see Zel again not kill him, JADEITE: [Dilgear] I wanted to *see* the matador, not be the matador! > I'm no idiot >twice. Maybe he'll have me back, I was really just afraid of Rezo >you know..." Dilgear looked down at the floor, the near death >experience served him right for betraying a friend, even if it >was to further himself under Rezo, he had acted like a fool and a >coward. "I want...to talk with him again." MALACHITE: Make up for all the difficult years... > >"Very well I will come with you." Xellos said smiling. Xellos >plan was working perfectly, NEPHLITE: Why would he want to marry Phil? [The others stare at him.] > he could get close enough to >Gourry and Lina and use the magical device in one of Rezo's >abandoned labs. Using Dilgear as his puppet, he could easily play >them all for fools to get what he wanted. Lina's powers! With >them he could rise to the ranks of High Priest! Zelna ZOISITE: Zelna? NEPHLITE: Zelgadis' evil brother. ZOISITE: Right... > would to >be drained and then he would have control of all this power with >no one to stop him. > >"Xellos? Hey Xellos!" > >"Oh...Oh you mean me?!" Xellos said pointing to him self, "Oh >yeah! I'm sorry, got side tracked with the whole plan thing!" JADEITE: [Xellos] Ha ha... Crap. > >Dilgear looked at him in suspicion, what was the real reason he >had saved him? "Anyway Xellos, thank you again for saving my >life....Xellos!?" > >"Oh" Xellos said startled, "You were talking to me again weren't >you." He said giggling. MALACHITE: [Xellos] Address me as Great Evil God Xellos-sama from now on, OK? > "Now my good wolf, ::opens his eyes >partially:: Tell me where the hidden mansion of Rezo the red >priest is..." > >Everything was set in motion at the palace. The grand ball room >was filled with dancers and a parade marched on outside as the >peasants cheered. Amelia quickly made her way to the largest >float of the parade in her gorgeous white dress. JADEITE: [Amelia] I'm the homecoming queen... and I have a gun! > >"Come on Mr. Zelgadis!" Zel followed dressed up like a prince. > >"Amelia," he said with distaste, "THIS is embarrassing..." NEPHLITE: If he can survive the Next series, he can survive anything. > she >grabbed his hand and sped off with him, "They all laugh at me," >he tried to pry his hand out, then using a crow bar and still >keeping calm, please "Please Amelia, they'll fear me, I'm a >freak..." > >"Your not a freak Mr. Zelgadis," Zel looks up in slight surprise, >"you're a friend." Amelia said lovingly. MALACHITE: Ah... ah... JADEITE: I'm not sure... ZOISITE: Stop. Just stop. MALACHITE: Good idea, my love. NEPHLITE: I take it that you want to leave? ZOISITE: Immediately! NEPHLITE: Yes, Zoisite. Whatever you say. [They exit.] -- TO BE CONTINUED IMMEDIATELY! The second installment of "Party" will contain two more host segments, and the rest of the story. Better yet, it's been released at the same time as the first installment. Don't miss it! -Alan Posted October 20, 1999. e-mail: ChrOtaku@xoommail.com / crf_riggsja@curf.edu Anime writings: fanficoutlet.tripod.com Elfquest spoofs: eq_addiction.tripod.com Stinger #1... >A few noises are heard as the camera is aimed from Dilgear and >Xellos to the window where Seyrun is.