--Alan -- Nega-Hell number 4 continues! It's Nuriko's turn to be evil. ################################################# MSTing: Shiroi Hime, Part 1 A mega-crossover (FY, BSSM, YYH, MKR) Nega-Hell #4.2 Original by Reeny Yuuki MST treatment by Alan ################################################# "...So, there I was, fighting off marauders, and guess what happens?" Nuriko told the generals, "I fell into a different dimension, because that's apparently where Villains Unlimited is. Have you heard of that group before?" Jadeite set his cup of coffee on the table. "No... Beryl must have signed herself up. Either that, or it was part of her deal with the Negaforce," he said. Shrugging, he took another sip. "In any event," Nuriko said, extending his hand across the table, "I don't mind being down here for a while. As long as the pay's good, it doesn't matter when I get back to my home-world." He shook Malachite's hand. A moment later, Malachite looked at his beloved. "What's the matter, Zoisite?" he asked, "One of your personal idols is here, and yet you don't exactly seem pleased." Zoisite, whose arms were locked across her chest, replied, "Darn right! You think I enjoy learning that my role model is a *man*?" She glanced at Nuriko, who was enjoying his cappucino. "No offense to you, Nuriko-sama," she added. "Well," Nuriko replied, "I don't exactly relish my male-ness. It's just something I was born having. Zoisite, do you ever wish you had a different gender?" He smiled at the female general--a smile that screamed, "I know!" She jumped in her chair. "Um... er... next subject, please," Zoisite said. Nephlite, a moment later, cleared his throat. He asked, "So... how 'bout them Bears?" No one answered the question. The five stayed in their seats, and remained silent. "Time to be moving on," Nuriko said. He stood up and pointed to the theater door. "If I'm going to be evil today, I might as well start early." He cleared his throat. Without a word, the four generals followed him into the theater. "Oh, Nuriko-sama..." whispered Zoisite, as the door closed behind her. -- Door sequence: #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The generals and the Star enter the small theater. The seating order, for the quartet, is the same as usual. From left to right: Jadeite, Malachite, Zoisite, and Nephlite. Nuriko takes Nephlite's usual aisle seat.] > "Yes small >lady, There is a twist there..." Chibi Usa asked "What is it? Is >there evil in the past?" "Yes, evil." Came Michiru's voice. "I saw >it in my mirror." ZOISITE: Michiru, in her spare time, is an evil witch. NURIKO: Maybe she could trap Usagi in a mirror. > "Evil? Is the sailor senshi involved with it?" >She asked "No, though it was in the same time and in the same >atmosphere!" Haruka said. Chibi Usa stopped and thought for a >moment. New Queen Serenity winced slightly MALACHITE: [Serenity] A blip on the radar? JADEITE: Someone punched her. > as her heart aches >"What is it Serenity?" King Endymion asked in concern. "Nothing, >Tokyo...," "Mother, are you all right?" Chibi Usa asked "I'm fine, >Small lady, don't worry." "Mother, something is wrong in the past >Tokyo, right?" ZOISITE: I don't know. What isn't wrong? MALACHITE: The fact that we're not there. NURIKO: The fact that Villains Unlimited wouldn't give me a bonus. > Chibi Usa said right to the point "Well, yes, there >seemed to be things going on there now." Chibi usa said "I felt it, >is the senshi involve in this?" "No." New queen Serenity said. "Can >I go back then?" Chibi Usa asked "I feel that I have to go NEPHLITE: Ugh. I hate that feeling. ZOISITE: C'mon, Serenity. There's dozens of reasons why she shouldn't go. > even >though that was none of my business." New Queen Serenity walked to >her, crouched down. "You have grown, and it is always important to >let you have practices. There," she said as she got the key of >time from the drawer top and handed it to her daughter NEPHLITE: Yeah, just give her the spare. > "You can go >back to the past. Go see what had happened in the long forgotten >past..." Chibi Usa got the key, shouted the magic words. NURIKO: [Chibi-Usa] Please Power! Magic Thank You! > Just as >she opened her eyes she saw something in front of her, a Pegasus, an >injured one MALACHITE: What? How many pegasi are there now? JADEITE: Dozens and dozens. Just like Kangaskans. NURIKO: ... MALACHITE: Jadeite, shut up. [Jadeite stays quiet.] > with a young man laying beside him Chibi Usa recognize >them at once, "Helios!" She screamed as she ran to him as the tunnel >of time tipped upside down when they fall into darkness. "Yuusuke, >there is a new case for you here." Koenma said rather in >embarrassment since ZOISITE: --it was a tacky briefcase. > he knew that Yuusuke was no longer a reikai >detective. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Sending me to do a >job for you after I got fired?" Yuusuke shot back at him. MALACHITE: That was brutal... A killing in cold blood! NEPHLITE: After they leave the Reikai Detectives, do they join the Steam Detectives? NURIKO: [sotto] Why do I recall hearing the name "Steam Detectives"? > "I know, >I'm sorry about that, I know there are loads of people out there >which I can use, but you have the greatest power." Yuusuke asked >"Why should I care whether this place got vandalized or not." >Koenma said "Because you're going to get married next month, ZOISITE: Bad idea. Check the person's gender first. NEPHLITE: [sotto] Stupid, stupid issues... NURIKO: You people are... different. >you don't want your beautiful life suddenly turned to doom because >of this don't you?" Yuusuke frowned "Are you using this to threaten >me?" Koenma said "Oh, you saw the point? Well, you could beat me up >if you wish, but that won't change the fact that the ningenkai ZOISITE: The what? MALACHITE: Hmmm... NEPHLITE: Don't know offhand. JADEITE: Don't look at me! NURIKO: I wouldn't be looking at you. >was in danger." Yuusuke said "Why are you always using these as >excuses to make me do work for you?" Koenma said "I never used these >situations as excuses to threaten you to do jobs for me. I think you >want your wife to be happy, so the first thing you have to do now is >to save this world." JADEITE: That's the plot of "High Noon." > Yuusuke sighed "who's the enemy now?" Koenma >sighed "I don't know. I have to wait until Botan had any >information to tell me." Just that moment a frantic Botan NURIKO: Botan! Frantic, frustrated, and... um... > ran into >the office "Koenma-sama, more people disappeared, this time a herd of JADEITE: Kan-- ZOISITE: No. >youths disappeared in the Tokyo towers and another group disappeared >when they entered a shrine. And someone which I think was not in >this bit of time had fallen into the same trap!" Koenma said "Okay, >this is the two hundredth and fifteenth case of lost population!" NEPHLITE: He's keeping count. MALACHITE: [Koenma, whiny] We lost again! >Yuusuke said "That means this time people got disappeared, what do >I have to do now?" Koenma said "Find Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei and fall >into the trap yourself." NURIKO: Why does their plan *not* sound like a good idea? > "What?" Yuusuke manage to burst out. "You >telling me to get capture by Youkais?" "No just find a way to end >all this, with the help of your friends I belief that you could do >this job and I'm going to sent you a nice wedding present when you >and Keiko got married." ZOISITE: Sounds like a plan! NEPHLITE: Sounds like Jadeite's type of plan. JADEITE: ... > Yuusuke sighed. So he telephoned all his >companions to join him in Genkai's place. Kurama said "A new >mission about the lost population?" Yuusuke nodded "how do you >know?" Kurama said "I have watched the news and I thought that the >evil was in the air, MALACHITE: Remember, if you're a movie character, everything you see on television is immediately relevant. NURIKO: Love is also in the air... > so I bet Koenma was trying to make us do this >mission." Yuusuke said "That's right, he told me to do such a thing >when I was just going to get married next month." ZOISITE: By the way, he's getting married next month. MALACHITE: Sounds like it. ZOISITE: Did you know that Yuusuke is getting married next month? MALACHITE: ... > Kurama said "If >you ever wanted to get married at all finish this mission and go for >it, I'll attend it and give you a nice present." ZOISITE: --when you get married. MALACHITE: Enough. NEPHLITE: ... > Hiei just grunted >"Enough of your marrying business, How are we going to start this?" >Yuusuke said "This is the part that I don't know what to do, I don't >know where to start." NURIKO: Oh, come on. Pack your belongings, close the door, and go! > Kuwabara rolled his small eyes as Yukina was >entering the room "Anyone want some more tea?" she asked as she >smiled politely. NEPHLITE: Thank you, Kasumi. ZOISITE: Thank you, Sasami. JADEITE: Sadly, the tea contains the livers of live animals. [The others glare at him. Nephlite enters Deep Glower mode.] > Kurama nudged Hiei but he just gave another grunt >looking away, he still refused to tell Yukina that he was her >brother. "Me!" cried Kuwabara, just as his sound echoed through the >room, the felt that blackness was around them. MALACHITE: [Kuwabara] W-what's happening to me? > "What is that?" >Yuusuke demanded as Kurama said "We got transported." ZOISITE: Thank you, Scotty! NURIKO: Look for a man with a funny hat. > "To where?" >Asked Yuusuke. "I don't know." Came the reply. "Where is Yukina- >san?" cried Kuwabara. "Oh, shut up will you? Jerk!" Hiei said >through gritted teeth. > > > > > JADEITE: ... NEPHLITE: Well, there goes my stereotypical Mars joke... ZOISITE: Time to go. OTHER GENERALS: Hai! NURIKO: Yes. [They exit the theater.] -- Nephlite set out six cards on the table. "Watch, everyone," he said to the others, "These ordinary playing cards will represent the series that are blended together in 'Shiroi Hime.' First, the ace of spades--that's Japanese mythology." "I doubt we'll see that one again," Malachite said in a low voice, "The title character had one line, then disappeared." "Well, at least it wasn't Mononoke," Nephlite said, offhandedly, "Well... anyway... the five of hearts will be Magic Knight Rayearth. Notice how clean and unfrayed the card is!" Nuriko looked at the card. "It's clean and not frayed," he said. After rolling his eyes, Nephlite continued, "The two of clubs will be Japanese-version Sailor Moon. Notice the low number on the card." "Someone gave me a wise saying," Jadeite told him, "'Never play an ace when a two will do.'" Once again, Nephlite rolled his eyes. He then said, "The jack of clubs will represent Yu Yu Hakusho. I don't know much about the series, so I won't say anything." For a moment, Nephlite did not say anything. "I'm glad that you didn't say anything," Nuriko said. "...Well, to make a long discussion short," Nephlite added, "The last one is 'X but not X.' That will be represented by this joker. Now... put these six--" Zoisite quickly said, "Five." "--five," Nephlite continued, "Put these five cards together, and what do you have? Anyone know?" he asked. No one gave a reply. Wishing to finish the joke, the stargazer told them, "What you have is a very bad hand. Ha ha!" Only silence filled the room. "This could be a long one," Nephlite muttered. -- TO BE CONTINUED in a fic to be named later. -Alan November 3, 1999 e-mail: ChrOtaku@xoommail.com Anime writings: fanficoutlet.tripod.com Elfquest spoofs: eq_addiction.tripod.com If anyone recognizes "Never play an ace when a two will do," contact me immediately. I'd like to talk to you! "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. Stinger #2: >"I feel that I have to go even though that was none of my business."