--Alan -- Don't mind me. I'm busy thinking about Card Captor Sakura. ##################################################### MSTing: Though We Tremble in the Night, ch. 2 An alternate-universe NASM story An alternate-universe NASM MSTing Original and MSTing by Alan (the former INTO; also known as John Alan Riggs) ##################################################### Malachite sat on an easy chair, whistling a happy tune, when all of a sudden Zoisite walked into the room. "Hi, honey, I'm home," she said, with a too- large-to-be-sane grin on her face. "What? What's happened now?" he replied. She pulled a small, box-shaped object out of a pocket in her official Negaverse-issue trousers. "You know how I was having so much trouble yesterday? How I got confused from all the things you were saying?" she asked. "Yes. I rather recall that," he said, as his arms shook, as a sweatdrop began to form. Zoisite thrust the object into Malachite's face. He could now see that it was his Ruin Explorers VHS tape. Between laughs, she said, "So I decided to do a little research." The possibilities quickly flooded the silver-haired general's mind. His uncut "Kite"... his Evangelion collection... his second-season "Utena" tapes... his rare-as-hell fansubs of Card Captor Sakura... (Better not to think of what could happen,) he reminded himself, (for that way madness lies.) "Don't worry, dear, I enjoyed... the majority of them," she replied, "Except for the Miyazaki films." Suddenly, her face was dead-set serious. He darted up from the chair. "You *don't like* the Miyazaki tapes??" the general exclaimed. She continued on, in the same monotone speech, "Well, you know how I have the power to summon fireballs?" "You don't mean--" he stammered. Zoisite finished the statement: "Yes. I burned them." Immediately, Malachite fell to the floor, weeping. His lover reached down to touch him. She whispered, "Oh, don't worry about it. I actually enjoyed the first season of Urotsukidoji..." "Yeah, but... but so did that British woman..." he said, each word strained. As they quietly continued their conversation, Jadeite and Malachite entered the room. Both looked at the prone couple. "What's with them?" both asked simultaneously. *** A few minutes later, after the figurative dust had cleared, Queen Beryl strolled into the room. The first thing she told them was, "I'm ready to give you another round of torture. How about you?" "You coward," Zoisite said to her leader, "Just because you lived longer than us doesn't mean that we have to bow down to your will." She sneered at Beryl. In return, Beryl glared at all four of her servants. "I believe you are forgetting one thing," she said, "I am far more powerful than any of you." "Ah," Jadeite said, suddenly remembering an unpleasant experience, "You're right." Beryl shooed them with a flick of her left hand. "Back in the theater, children," she said. *** Door sequence nearing completion... #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: An ordinary road *in Tokyo*, with red cones and all. *** [The generals see before them a small theater. The seating order is the same as before. From left to right: Jadeite, Malachite, Zoisite, and Nephlite. >Sailor Moon: >Though We Tremble in the Night >By Alan > >Chapter 2: The Confusion That Hurts Us > > "We're in the Negaverse..." Luna said, Jadeite: Oh, good. Now they can join us. Malachite: Doubt it. Most of them are stuck on the SOL2. > shivering >from fear as she stared into the dull black void that >passed for the sky, "And it's just as much fun as I >expected." Zoisite: --what with the 24-hour coffee bars and all. > > Serena called out to her constant companion, >"Enough with that! This is Malachite that we're facing >here, Malachite: YAY! GO ME! GO ME! Nephlite: ...Zoisite, is he feeling well? Zoisite: Not exactly... > and he's one serious type of guy." She then >turned towards the Scouts' opponent and declared, "We >have defeated you before. Jadeite: Psst, Malachite, you're on! Nephlite: [as Malachite] Whoah... am I here? > Unless you've got a love for >self-humiliation, get out of the way." Zoisite: [Serena] Serena 3:16 says you lose! Malachite: Don't concern yourself with such things, my love... Zoisite: ... > She was on the >verge of transforming, but decided not to quite yet, >or end up provoking her adversary into an opening >attack. Jadeite: That's not what the Sailors usually do. Nephlite: It's actually more effective to let your opponent strike first. Gets them off-balance. Jadeite: How do you know that? Nephlite: Well... it's just a guess. > > Malachite glared at the group. The general knew >full well that the Princess was the focal point of the >group, as well as their most powerful member. Zoisite: Ummm... now would be a *good* time to use the word "Scout." Malachite: What's that, my love? Zoisite: ...Never mind. > "I'm no >masochist, if that's what you mean," Malachite said, Zoisite: [Malachite] Actually, Princess, I'm more of a sadist. Nephlite: [Serena] Does that mean you like to... Never mind! Jadeite: You're all hopeless. >fidgeting for a moment, "But I will win. Prepare to >deal with... my friends!" > > The five Scouts immediately transformed, Nephlite: --into five mechas. > for they >knew that negotiations had become an impossibility. >Several moments later, they looked over Malachite's pack >of Jadeite: --cigarettes? Zoisite: I'd have to say wolves. Nephlite: So, Malachite, what's the missing word? Malachite: PACK! Others: Huh? > "friends," and were surprised to see that were all >lined up in a row. "Damn, this should be easy," Raye Nephlite: They did it again! Zoisite: Yeah. Everyone knows she's now Mars. >said, and launched a singular fire blast at her foes. >Her mouth dropped open as she saw that not a one of >them was injured. > > "You'll hafta wait your turn," Malachite: [singing] Turning, turning, turning... Jadeite: Here he goes again... > said a young >woman who stood at the front of the line, and she swung >her blue-and-purple cape Jadeite: Do we know this person? Zoisite: Blue and purple... Hmmm... Nephlite: I don't recognize the colors. > out and behind her back, she >introduced herself, "Because I'm Lina Inverse, Bandit >Killer, and Dragon Slayer!" Zoisite: No! How could they... AAAAGH! Nephlite: I feel your pain. This is terrible! Jadeite: Um... how about we take a break, and get our friend Malachite out of here? Nephlite: Very good idea. [They stumble out the door as the fic grinds to a halt.] *** Zoisite, in between bursts of tears, told her fellow fan Nephlite, "I saw 'Slayers' around five in the morning. It kept me awake, because of all the explosions and funny bits. But... but I never knew it could bring so much pain..." At this, her voice broke off. With one eye on Jadeite, who was setting up a stereo system in one corner of the throne room, Nephlite told her, "Most of the time, anime isn't all that painful. Tell you what... how about we try to create a crossover worse than the one we just saw?" The only response from Zoisite was an affirmative nod. Meanwhile, her lover was sitting in his chair again, mumbling things to himself. "Right. Now, if we can get Malachite to participate, we can stage a Slayers/Ranma crossover," Nephlite said, looking about the room, "We'll need an Akane to be the fiancee, and... um... should we have Ranma or Gourry?" From his comfy seat, Malachite said, "Xellos." Though she took a brief look at him, Malachite did not look any different than before to Zoisite. She told Nephlite, as her thoughts came together, "Let's start with Akane and Xellos, and have them meet. I, naturally, will be the former." For a second, Nephlite considered the odd statement. Then he shook his head, and told her, "Let's begin." All was quiet for a moment. Then they heard Jadeite. The blond general spoke into his stereo, "Hey, all you in radio land... this is Jadeite's Jazz Odyssey. I've got some really cool stuff. So sit back, relax, and..." His voice slowly trailed off. "Don't mind him," Malachite said. Ignoring her lover, Zoisite assumed the character of Akane Tendo, and said, "I hate men! I don't want to be engaged!" "Oh... engagement?" Nephlite/Xellos replied, "Mind if I just watch?" Instinctively, Zoisite/Akane pulled a mallet out of hammerspace. "Xellos no BAKA!" she screamed in perfect fanboy Japanese. With the blow, Nephlite fell to the floor. Malachite looked on, and as he slowly rose from the chair, he said, "Maybe you hit him a little bit too hard, my love." "Well, looks like he's back to normal," Zoisite muttered, "but what about Jadeite?" At that instant, the master of disguises was playing music, and talking over it. "Mmmm. Sweet. Can someone get me a cappuchino?" he said, to no-one in particular. Malachite grinned. "Maybe we should finish the story now," he said. *** [The generals take their seats again.] Jadeite: Back to the pain again... > > (How interesting,) Amy found herself thinking, >(an enemy with multiple personality disorder.) "Should >we be impressed?" Sailor Mercury Zoisite: Oh. It's... HER again. > asked rhetorically as she assailed Lina >with a shot of cold bubbles. > > As the imported one struggled to mount an >attack, Nephlite: Yeah, right! Malachite: [Lina] FIREBALL! Jadeite: That would be a pretty effective attack, right? Others: It always does the trick. > Jupiter finished the foe off with a focused >bolt of lightning. (Heh,) Leda thought, (she was flatter >than Zoisite.) Malachite: Uh-oh... her anger level is building quickly... Jadeite: Prepare to duck! [Zoisite, growling, fills the room with a fireball. Oddly, the screen is untouched.] > > Next in line was a rather plump, balding man >with a tan jacket. Jadeite: I'll let you guys identify the cameo. Nephlite: ...My guess is Mr. Ichinose. Malachite: Could be Genma Saotome. > "H-h-h-h-hey!" he shouted as he >slowly drew his gun. > > "An easy target," Mina said, her face devolving >into a snarl. She hit Palmer Jadeite: Arnold Palmer? Malachite: Maybe... > with such a force that >by the time the executive toppled over, he was dead. Nephlite: Hip hip hooray. Zoisite: One of the few who survived *that game*. Such a pity. Malachite: Are you feeling better, my love? Zoisite: Not yet. But I have ways of managing anger. Jadeite: (Uh-oh...) > > The third opponent was -- a schoolgirl. Serena >found her jaw dropping as she sized up this one. Jadeite: I could say something, but I'd be killed for it. > Her >foe had curly blond hair, large, unflinching eyes, and >a mouth that could easily consume an okonomiyaki in >one bite. Jadeite: Who's cameo number three? Zoisite: Hmmm... Ukyo gone terribly wrong, perhaps? Malachite: It's Chibi-Haruka! Nephlite: Oh, come *on*. Malachite: Well, do you have a better idea? Nephlite: ...I guess... Azusa Shiratori with hair dye. > "I don't want to fight you," Sailor Moon >said, her hands tensing up, "But our good buddy >Malachite Malachite: --friend to all monsters! > isn't giving us a chance." > > Just as Sailor Moon took the jewel from the >tiara, the schoolgirl screamed, "You're not going to >*hurt* me, are you? WAAAHHHH!!" Jadeite: The answer? Yes. > > (Oh, this is just wonderful,) Raye silently >complained. Taking a few casual steps in Serena's >direction, Mars suggested to Moon, Zoisite: [Mars] Let's play "the telephone game"! Nephlite: From the Earth... to the Moon... to Mars... > "Let's put the brat >out of her mercy - together." Jadeite: And you guys laughed when I said I liked Mars the best. > Having said that, both >Scouts launched their respective attacks >simultaneously. To their extreme satisfaction, Nephlite: --I can't get no-- > C-ko >was destroyed immediately. From behind them, Leda >clapped quietly. Zoisite: [Leda] Yay. Hooray. Go Scouts. Malachite: At least some good things are happening. The universe will be a much better place without C-ko. > > "So you're next, huh?" Amy asked, stepping >forward and staring down at the male opponent. > > > > Nephlite: Huh? Jadeite: I think it stopped. Nephlite: Let's wait a second... > > > > > Zoisite: Wow! Jadeite: We survived! Malachite: High time to get out of here. [They exit. Nothing fancy about it.] *** Queen Beryl sat in her meditation chamber, marking time by meditating. She whispered, "Now... the fun really begins..." Back in the throne room, all four generals sneezed at once. -- IN CONCLUSION... "Tremble" is now finished. Next MSTing project: the X/ Pokemon crossover which I mentioned on the Dibs List. It's called "The Search for Kotori," and it's... well... odd. In any event, at least *this* is done. Any and all commentary will be appreciated! -Alan (September 9, 1999) / Anime writings: fanficoutlet> "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. >"Let's put the brat out of her mercy - together."