--Alan -- Nega-Hell 11.1. Join us now as we wander into Fushigi-land... ########################################### MST: Continuations of the Shijintenchisho CHAOS, part 1 Nega-Hell 11.1 Treatment by Alan Original by Akira Sazanami ########################################### "Hello. Is this Villains Unlimited?" Beryl asked. The phone was in one hand, and an electric razor was in the other. The receptionist answered, "Yes. If you are interested in hiring a villain, please press one. If you are interested in executing an evil scheme, please press two. If you are interested in resurrecting a deceased villain, please press three. If--" Beryl cut the message by pressing the number one. She had much evil to do, and no time to lose. A few moments later, a live operator took her call. "Hello, Villains Unlimited," the man said. "Thank you. I'd like to request a villain for temporary assistance," she replied, "Do you have anyone currently available?" The operator asked an unrelated question: "Which jurisdiction are you in?" After remembering her place in the villain hierarchy, Beryl said, "I'm currently controlling a small sector of non-prime real estate in Nega-Hell." "Well..." the operator replied, "That's not good. Few of our temps and associates are even willing to touch that place. Give me a second, and I'll look through the computer." Beryl bit her lip. She knew that Villains Unlimited's computers were equally evil to the organization. Any match they found would probably double-cross her. The operator told her, "There's a happy couple living in a universe semi-parallel to yours. It just so happens that the two realities will intersect in the next week or so. Time is clearly on our side, fellow evil-doer!" "So it seems," the queen muttered, "However, I only need one person. Can you get half of the couple?" A second later, after a flurry of typing, the receptionist said, "It looks like you're in luck. We'll summon whichever individual we can. The person will be at your doorstep in a matter of days." "That's good. Now..." Beryl said, figuring in the last step of her plan, "May I pay with credit?" She received her answer. After bidding the person farewell, the queen slammed down the receiver. She paused a second, and began laughing, laughing in an evil way. As usual, it echoed down the halls, and shook the foundations of Nega-Hell. *** ... "I have you now, Sailor brats." ... ... "I shall retrieve the rainbow crystals." ... ... "I won't fail you, Queen Beryl." ... ... "Oh, Malachite..." ... As her dream faded away, the alarm clock went off. Zoisite sighed, then got out of bed. She looked toward the small television in the corner of the room. It was on, and Malachite was watching it. "Excuse me," Zoisite told him, "Are you watching our old videos *again*?" "Sorry, my love," he said as he turned down the volume. Malachite pointed to his face, which filled the screen. "It's just that... I admire myself quite a bit." He did a quick, smarmy pose. A sweatdrop formed on her neck. She snatched it, and hit Malachite over the head with it. *** "Greetings, worms," Beryl warmly said to the generals, "I've got quite an evil plan. In fact, it's so evil, it's wicked." As he kneeled before her, Jadeite muttered, "But is it wicked cool?" Ignoring her subject's comment, the queen continued, "Today's show will be your first foray into Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction." Malachite, getting off his knees, said, "Fair enough. As long as it doesn't involve characters repeating each other's names." He winked at Zoisite. "Oh, I assure you it's quite different," Beryl replied, "In fact, now they'll have a self-insert's name to call out! Feast upon 'Continuations of the Shijintenchisho Chaos'!" With those words said, she retreated behind her ever-so-convenient barrier. "I hate it when she uses that laptop," said Zoisite. As his fellow general complained, Nephlite glanced toward the theater door. "How amusing," he said, "She's redecorated it to look like a hardbound book." Jadeite, not quite as amused, said, "Let's go." -- Door sequence: #6: A shower of ice crystals. #5: An elevator door, opening to nothing but blackness. #4: A prison gate, barred by thick chains. Falls apart. #3: A waterfall. The camera pans outwards. #2: A television screen, which sizzles and explodes. #1: A highway leading down to HELL! -- [The generals enter the small theater. The seating order is no different, so don't even ask. From left to right: Jadeite, Malachite, Zoisite, and Nephlite.] > Home » JustIn | Discussion Forum | Author Directory | >Chat | Links | Help Desk ZOISITE: They'll help with fics? NEPHLITE: Not that most people ask for it. > > >(choose a category)AnimeBooksCartoonsComicsCrossoversGamesMiscMovies >Music GroupsOriginalsPoetriesTV Shows(now choose a subcategory) JADEITE: Whoa... slow down there! > TitleSummaryAuthorFull-Text FlavorTangerineKiwiBlueberry >GrapeLimeStrawberryBlackberryMint ZOISITE: *Flavor*? MALACHITE: Fruity-licious! [Nephlite quietly groans.] > > > Story Functions > > Author Profile > Download Story >Title: Continuations of the Shijintenchisho CHAOS JADEITE: The what? NEPHLITE: It's translated as "The Universe of the Four Gods." MALACHITE: So how did Tenchi get stuck halfway through the word? >Author: Akira Sazanami >Censor: PG >Reviews: 0 JADEITE: Everyone but Ebert thought it was kiddy trash. > >The Shijintenchisho Continues... with a book or NOT! ZOISITE & MALACHITE: Excellent! >By me! Akira! > >Two girls sat watching in front of the TV. One of them, obviously >the taller one, was dressed in a black gothic dress. MALACHITE: Uh-oh... JADEITE: Heavy angst ahead. > She had >shoulder-length brown hair with blond highlights in them. She sighed >dreamily and smiled. > >"Yamiko, your blocking the TV! ZOISITE: Yamiko's blocking her killer attack. JADEITE: What can we say? It's Super Bowl season. > I wanna see too!" the shorter girl >yelled and glared at the girl with the dress. Her dark brown hair was >short, cut in a tomboyish way that was still strangely feminine. MALACHITE: Women can pull that off. ZOISITE: Well said, dear! I always assert my femininity. [Nephlite sighs deeply.] JADEITE: He probably *isn't* thinking about Molly... >Dark brown eyes, far too pretty for a boy, gave her away as a girl. >On her head she wore a yellow artist's hat that framed her bangs. She >wore boyish baggy jeans but a green sweater that was very feminine NEPHLITE: Go on, assert your femininity. We won't complain. ZOISITE: On the other hand... [she hits Malachite] ...maybe we should. >in contrast. Behind her back, barely noticable to the casual observer >was a sheath. > >Yamiko glared back at the girl. Her yellow cat-like eyes flashed in >anger, while her feline pupils JADEITE: Cat students? MALACHITE: She must've just read "Reality Check." > dialated in defiance. "Shut up Akira! >You're lucky I'm here to baby-sit you while everyone else is away, >BAKA!" NEPHLITE: Ah... we're settling into fanboy dialogue. Lots of ronins and bakas and hentais and nan-desu-kas... ZOISITE: No da. > Wearing a black dress, she looked very mysterious and scary at >times. > >Akira grit her teeth. MALACHITE: That's not Akira, it's Tetsuo! > She hated being called a baby. She was 14. >NOT 4. And kick ass. "Geez Yami-san, calm down! I mean, it's not like >this is not the first time we've watched Fushigi Yuugi. JADEITE: So it *is* the first time. ZOISITE: No da. > Baka no da, >we've watched 1-13 today and we haven't turned off the TV yet!" JADEITE: Is it that good? NEPHLITE: No. And don't say anything, Zoisite. ZOISITE: ... > >"But Kiraaaa! It's not like we've got anything to do!! Anyway, we've >got two hours 'til Kirara's slumber party! Besides, that leader >bandit guy is coming! Genrou or something. He's soooo cuuuute..." >Yamiko replied, all the while with hearts in her eyes. MALACHITE: Have a heart! > >Kira turned SD (super deformed. ^_^ Think cute and small anime >characters) and rolled her eyes. *sigh* Tasuki... She sighed. "You >say that about every bishonen guy. And are you really just going to >walk in there with that gothic dress?" ZOISITE: I would hope she'd be *wearing* the dress. MALACHITE: ... > >SD Yamiko scowled at her. "Baka. What about you? You're always >wearing tomboyish stuff and carrying that stupid sword around! NEPHLITE: Oh, really? You're sure this is Japan? JADEITE: She's a baka. They have licenses. ZOISITE: It's just a super-deformed sword. >You're complaning about my dress and still bring that sword?!" > >Kira turned to face Yamiko, and her eyes flashed. Little electricity >started to form between them. "It's NOT stupid! I like these clothes >and we can watch these at Kiara's house." JADEITE: Kiara? Must be an alias. NEPHLITE: [dramatic] Kiara the anime fan watches Liana Inverse fight Leda and Fuuma over Masque! > Calm down.. will have >fun... will not choke Yamiko.... will show that *I* have self-control >for once... MALACHITE: Must... not... kill... family... > >"Che, that's why you don't have a boyfriend, Akira. You're too boyish >and like a little kid." Yamiko scoffed. Ha! Teach her to make fun of >me. > >Red alert! Red alert! JADEITE: Movie sign! > Insult about not having boyfriend! Battle >stations! Kira had a blue, lightly glowing aura around her. "I >*don't* want one, thank you!" And with that, she planted her elbow in >Yamiko's head. ZOISITE: You'll damage your plants that way. > >"Iiiitaiiii!" Yamiko held her head. "That hurt!! And I thought we >were friends?!" > >"Baka! Of course it did!" The aura died down. JADEITE: A tragic end... > >Yamiko was still rubbing her head. "Fool, you've got to remember >you're more physically stronger because your saiyajin. NEPHLITE: Aaa... I... Saiya-- [He faints.] MALACHITE: Never thought I'd see the day... > You're lucky I >can't kick your ass. But I can make you..." Yamiko waved her hands in >weird motions > >"Yeah, it's my advantage. We're still friends, just remember I can >kick your ass and ZOISITE: --singe your leg-hairs! MALACHITE: Sayonara, samurai! > you're the princess of the dark or whatever >so...." Kira couldn't move. She was paralyzed. Except for her mouth. >"Yamiiiiikooooo!" > >Yamiko grinned. She waved her hands. "Slow motion! Mwahahaha!" JADEITE: Concentrate... slowly... > >"Hyeeeey... stoooooop thaaaaaat youuuuu mooooootheeerrrffff--" Yamiko >was rolling on the floor and laughing. This was priceless!! ZOISITE: Yes, but we already saw it in Video Girl Ai. NEPHLITE: Goku... yellow hair... self-insertion... > >"Iiiiittt'sss nnooooot fuuuunnnnnyyyyyy!" Then she snapped. Kira fell >on her behind. "BAKA! That hurt!" > >"Don't mess with me, Kira!" Yamiko made a fist and laughed some more. >Kira scowled. Then she grinned. Oh well. We are friends. Knowing now >that they had settled their argument, MALACHITE: Violence solves any argument! JADEITE: Of course it does. Don't sound so sarcastic. NEPHLITE: ... > she smirked and took a >backpack filled with her clothes, snacks, and hygiene for girls >stuff. "Ok, Yami-chan. Let's go!" With a forced, cheery smile, Kira >prepared to go to Kiara's house. ZOISITE: Well... maybe they are two different people. MALACHITE: I keep thinking about Ranma and Ranko. > >She found a Yamiko drooling over the TV set. Kira clenched her fist >and a vein appears on her head. "Yamiiiii-chaaaan...." Her fist >glowed blue. JADEITE: Feeling so blue... > >Yamiko grabbed her bag and laughed sheepishly while trying to hide a >sweat drop. "Uh.. hai!" Geez, she's scary when she's angry... "Lemme >turn off the VCR." MALACHITE: Be sure to unplug the PlayStation. [Nephlite returns to his seat.] > As Yamiko was about to press the power button... >a bright flash of light blinded them. The light enveloped the entire >room. > >"HYAAAAA! WHAT THE !@#%@$ NEPHLITE: Cid Highwind's been at the dialogue. ZOISITE: Cid Highwind? Hardly. This is Tasuki. > DID YOU DO YAMIKO?!?!?!" Kira screamed and >protectively held Yamiko. Yamiko acted strong, but physically she was >as vulnerable as anyone else. MALACHITE: [Yui] You are weak! Weak! > >"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?! WAAAAAAH!" > >When the light touched the windows, they broke into shards. Kuso! >Kira thought as she heard them crack. Yamiko closed her eyes and >waited. The shards flew towards them, ZOISITE: We used that attack on Tux-boy. MALACHITE: And we got him good! ZOISITE: Yay! NEPHLITE: ... > and in the few seconds that >took Kira to make a ki shield around them, a few sharp shards had >found their way towards her right arm and swiftly cut her skin... >painfully. Kira grit her teeth and winced. She didn't want Yamiko to >see her weak. JADEITE: [Kira] It'd be so embarrassing... MALACHITE: [Zelgadis] I want to be strong! Strong! > Shiiiit... that hurt like hell. Kira glanced at her >right arm. It was cut deeply. The wound was bleeding freely and was >gashed up pretty badly. Damn. "Yamiko! Daijyobu*?!" NEPHLITE: No, it's *Daisaku*. ZOISITE: I think we can refrain from making Giant Robo references. > >"H-HAI AKI-CHAN! W-WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" > >They both closed their eyes tightly and felt themselves being sucked >in. It felt like being sucked into a vacuum. JADEITE: It's been turned to "blow"! ZOISITE: Or Spaceballs references. > After what seemed like >an eternity, Yamiko slowly opened her eyes. She did not see the room >where they were watching TV. There was nothing. Nothing but white. >White and a streak of black just pass by her. Nani?! What was that? MALACHITE: A tense change? >Somehow... she had to find out what that black streak was. She >noticed there was no ground to hold them up. They were just hovering. >Kira was still protectively hugging Yamiko with her eyes shut. JADEITE: Someone's gonna get clobbered for that. >Yamiko shrugged her off. "Akira! Look! Did you see that black >steak?!" Yamiko stared in the direction of the black streak. NEPHLITE: Oooh, it's charbroiled and all. >Kira opened her eyes. Shit shit shit shit shit... JADEITE: Napoleon's excellent bowling adventure! ZOISITE: I'm surrounded by idiots. NEPHLITE: Hey! > my arm hurts like >HELL! Hey... She looked at her arm. Damn, that sure left a mark. >Touching her wound with her finger, it quickly became wet with blood. >She looked below her and saw nothingness of white. Then she panicked, >forgetting about her arm. "AIYAAAA! Where are we?! ZOISITE: That's what we're all asking. JADEITE: They fell into Shiroi Hime. MALACHITE: [Jusenkyo Guide] Oh sirs, this is village of Chinese Amazon women! > Why is everything >white?! What black streak?!" She began to become hysterical. Then she >started crying. "WAAAA! Yamikoooo! I wanna go home!" She slumped down >and cried like a baby. NEPHLITE: I see the level of competence is dropping. > >Yamiko decided to ignore the bumbling baby and was still staring. >Why... why are we here?! Suddenly, she felt herself falling. Kira, >who was afraid of heights, shut her eyes and prepared to fly. MALACHITE: But not too close to the sun. >Yamiko prepared to land on her feet. > >There was a POP! sound, and the two girls found themselves on their >rear end. [Jadeite laughs.] MALACHITE: Fortunately, Hotohori broke their fall. ZOISITE: Leave him out of this. > "Itaiiii!" Yamiko yelled as she hit the ground. Yamiko then >started to rant to herself about how much that hurt. Kira, instead of >complaining for once, immediately covered her cut with her green >sweater. Wincing a bit... she looked at the surroundings. NEPHLITE: Relatively speaking, Kira's the genius here. > Kira turned >away from the busily ranting Yamiko to look around. "Yami-chan, it >seems like we're on some hill or mountain." > >"*rant rant* Damn that hurt, Kira why didn't you save me? Now my >dress is ruined-- MALACHITE: This ranks right up there with the whining scene from Midnight Panther. ZOISITE: ... > yeah we aren't we? It only took me 2 seconds to >figure that out! We're never gonna get home!! WAAA! There's no TV, no >cute guys, no fast food and we're LOOOOOOST! WAAAA!" JADEITE: Welcome to WAAA2K! NEPHLITE: Ian Kim won't like that. > Yamiko started >crying waterfalls of tears. > >"!^@$!@$%ing baka! Don't panic! See?" Kira pointed at a nearby ZOISITE: Lamppost? MALACHITE: [Yamiko] I wanted to have tea with Mr. Tumnus! WAAAA! >sign which read, "Mt. Leikaku". "We're just stuck in another world. >FY to be specific! Geez, and we know a little bit about what's gonna >happen! MALACHITE: I saw that one a mile away. JADEITE: Ah, the power of the self-insertion increases. > Nothing new... besides, I bet kazoku or our friends may use >the dragonballs to wish us back, ne?!" NEPHLITE: OK... This should be an interesting explanation. ZOISITE: What does Dragonball have to do with Fushigi? NEPHLITE: Wishes. MALACHITE: At least Akira *Toriyama* didn't write this. > Kira then started her >breathing and was straining herself to slap Yamiko. She reached for >her sword, and felt her backpack instead. Backpack? Kira smiled. >Yatta, at least we have food! JADEITE: Contents of backpack: food, food, scissors, Ryoga's map, food, harp, food, the gold amulet of the elf tribe, food... NEPHLITE: No Slayers references. Please. > "Look at least we have food!" Kira >turned to cheer Yamiko up from her hysterical state. > >"You're so meeeean! How can you think of food at a time like >this?!?!" ZOISITE: [Yamiko] Jerk! MALACHITE: [Kira] Meatball-head! > >"Because we need it to survive and we don't know where else to get >any?!" > >Yamiko glared at her friend. "AAARGH! I WANNA GO HOME!!" > >"Why don't you use yer !@^%#!ing powers?!" NEPHLITE: If this were Dragonball, you'd have to wait at least a dozen episodes for that. ZOISITE: This could be a long one... > Kira was *really* >straining to keep cool. > >"I caaaaan't! I'm too hystericaaaal!" > >Kira lost her last thread of cool inside of her. JADEITE: Someone broke the metaphor. > "Then SHUT yer >@%@!$--" As Kira lunged for the hysterical Yamiko.. > >Suddenly, a stick cracked. Then came a rustling of the grass. MALACHITE: The howling of the wind and the falling of the leaves and the floods of the eastern seaboard and the... ZOISITE: It's *dramatic*! > >Yamiko and Kira suddenly shut up. Kira smirked, Yamiko was waving her >hands in front of her saying, no no! You idiot, Kira! NO NO! Kira >merely gave her a thumbs-up with a grin. JADEITE: What, no victory sign? > Before Yamiko could weave >her paralyzing spell... NEPHLITE: --Chichiri sued her for copyright infringement. > >"We're over here! Come on ouuuut!" Kira shouted. > >There was another rustle, and out stepped 5 rather... big men. But >before they could say or do anything, ZOISITE: Before they could be adequately described... > Yamiko lunged for Kira. "BAKA >BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKAAAA!" NEPHLITE: Issues. > Yamiko took hold of Akira (Kira for >those who don't pay attention...) by her collar and tried to choke >her. > >"HEEEEY! GET OFF ME, YAMIKO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE HYSTERICAL >ONE!!!" Akira yelled. NEPHLITE: The self-insertion has serious issues. JADEITE: [sotto] Agreed. > >"Hey, they're both dressed weird. Could one of them be the Suzaku no >Miko?" asked of the bandits. > >"Maybe. Just get them to Eiken. He'll fry us if we don't." ZOISITE: [bandit] Tell the orc-king! MALACHITE: Yes, it's a well-established fact that everyone who dresses strangely is *immediately* suspected to be a priestess! > >Akira heard this and pinned Yamiko with her strength. "Aaa-ki-ra, >y-y-yer ch-chok-ing m-m-me!" Yamiko's face turned blue. Turning SD, >she waved her arms up and down. > >"Hey, since da miko lives in da palace, JADEITE: What sort of accent is this? NEPHLITE: [Kenshin] Oro. MALACHITE: Ai ya! ZOISITE: No da. > I bet she's rollin' in money. >This'll be good. Eiken better not fry us with these two chicks." >Another bandit replied. > >Akira eased her hold on her. Yamiko's face returned to it's normal >color. Akira stood up and walked towards them. "You wanna fight?!" >she dropped into a fighting stance. NEPHLITE: [deep] Round One! > >Yamiko, after standing up, ran in front of Akira with her arms >extended. > >"Yamiko?! What the HELL are you doing?!" Akira growled. ZOISITE: [Yamiko] Ummm... running? JADEITE: Yamiko never fails to amuse me. > >The bandits laughed and some even rolled on the ground. "Little >girls, you can't do crap." "You wanna fight? Hahaha!" "What are you >gonna do?! *laughs*" > >Akira glared at them and decided to just give them a taste of what >she could do, right then and there. ZOISITE: I will *not* make my Lina Inverse reference. MALACHITE: Neither will I. > She was NOT the best person to >make fun of or piss off. > >"You're not gonna touch Akira!" Yamiko yelled. "We're not going to >your stupid leader!" JADEITE: [Yamiko] I told you not to touch my sister! > Yamiko stepped out in front of Akira and held >out her arms protectively. > >"Yamiko, I'm touched." Akira grinned. "Take care of them!" > >"Take me instead! I wanna see your leader!" Yamiko said and grinned. NEPHLITE: [Lina Inverse] Take me to your *chef*! [The others punch him.] > >Akira fell on her face. Then slowly got up. The bandits face-faulted. > >"Whatcha' MEAN?! Take you?!" Akira protested. She was *not* impressed. > >"I wanna see your leader!" Yamiko repeated. MALACHITE: [Yamiko] Ummm... Habla Espanol? Sprechen Sie Deutch? > >Then Yamiko whispered to Akira. "I'm going to see Genrou! If you >don't wanna come, FINE!" Akira smacked her on the head. ZOISITE: [Yamiko] Take me to your Tasuki... Aaaahhh... [Malachite sighs.] > >"Bakayarou, you think they're gonna be straight with you?!" Akira >yelled while clenching her fists. > >"I can take care of myself, thank you! You're not the only one who >can kick ass!" Yamiko retorted, with a glare. JADEITE: [Yamiko] My skill in fighting technique is refined well! Bastard, now you die! > >"Yeah, but we don't know them! (whispers) They might be really >powerful. And they might be after... ya know... they might not take >you to Genrou right away. What makes you think that Genrou's the >leader of THIS territory?! MALACHITE: Ummm... did you miss the Mt. Leikaku sign? NEPHLITE: Here's your sign! > (back to yelling) Anyway, let's just >beat the !@#%^$ crap out of 'em and leave!" JADEITE: [Akira] &%^+`! NEPHLITE: [Yamiko] @#*$$! > >"No! We don't know ANYBODY and what makes YOU think that it's safer >out there than HERE?! (And with that hunk here?! This is NOT an >oppurtunity I'm gonna miss!)" ZOISITE: Well... they certainly have their priorities straight... NEPHLITE: ... > >"What the HELL would you wanna go with them for?! We can go look for >him tomorrow!" Akira was REALLY pissed. > >"Iie! I wanna stay in the camp than out here!" Yamiko was getting >nowhere quick. But she would have her way, with Akira or not. JADEITE: Ummm... ZOISITE: I... MALACHITE: Well... NEPHLITE: [Yamiko] It's not what it looks like! I can explain! > >"Are you that careless about your safety?!?! > >"I DON'T need a bodyguard! I TOLD YOU, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" >Yamiko angrily yelled. She HATED someone younger than her trying to >take care of her. > >"Fine, BE THAT WAY! I'm going to find a place to sleep JADEITE: [C3P0] You'll probably malfunction... > and come for >you tomorrow, ALRIGHT?!" Akira clenched her fists, harder. It wasn't >helping. > >"Geez, what part of, "SAFE CAMP WITH HUNKSTER" don't you >understand?!" ZOISITE: Oh... it's all quite clear... MALACHITE: Not again... > Yamiko was NOT happy. She folded her arms and >maintained to look dignified. She walked slowly towards the bandits. >"I'm GOING." > >Akira narrowed her eyes. This was going in circles. And she was >REALLY pissed. This was going to end, NOW. JADEITE: Advance the plot. NEPHLITE: Please? > "YEAH RIGHT! Are you >THAT desperate?! It's NOT safe there! Let's get an inn or make a >camp, damnit! Haven't you heard of SAFTEY comes in numbers?! Let's >STAY together!" MALACHITE: The family that stays together... > "I told you... I'm GOING with or WITHOUT you." JADEITE: I can't live... with or without you... >Akira scowled. Shr ran up to Yamiko. "Shit, you know you're just >going because of that Genrou! Don't you care what'll happen there?! >You know you're NOT a morning person! You are just SO READY to jump >into bed aren't you?! You're that DESPERATE! AREN'T YOU?!" NEPHLITE: That's a Dragonball tape, isn't it? JADEITE: Huh? NEPHLITE: "Frieza: Desperation." OTHERS: ... > >Akira stepped up to Yamiko so they were face to face. "Aren't you?" >She said quietly. > >This was all Yamiko could take. With one swift blow, she lifted her >right hand and with that, slapped Akira across her left cheek with >all her strength. *SLAP* ZOISITE: [Nuriko] I won't be mocked! > >Akira fell against the ground. She held her cheek in surprise, and a >bit of fear. All she could remember was the sound of the impact of >Yamiko hand and her cheek. She touched her radiating, burning cheek, >not seeing the red imprint it had made. JADEITE: Red... red... MALACHITE: Redrum... > Yamiko's eyes were frozen, >and her face a midnight wrath. She.. slapped me. Her eyes watered. >"Yamiko..." And her eyes flashed and froze, along with her >expression. Her body started glowing a faint blue... NEPHLITE: Naturally, this is where the episode ends. ZOISITE: I hate that. > >Yamiko looked at her coldly with ice-yellow eyes. Looking at her now >red hand which had slapped Akira, her expression changed from sheer >rage, to a worried expression. "Akira.. I... I...I..." she stammered. >"You just... just..." > >The bandits watched the show with amazement. JADEITE: [sophisticated] Care for some crumpets and tea? ZOISITE: [same] Why, certainly! That would be lovely. > Here were two girls, >not afraid of being taken to Eiken and even fighting with each other. >And they knew about Genrou! These girls knew a lot, and talked a lot >for that matter. They nodded to each other. The small one was >DEFINITELY NOT the one they wanted to take right now. MALACHITE: Do we know their height differences? JADEITE: Go for the ugly one! >They started whispering to each other. > >"I guess this one's the Suzaku no Miko. That other one must be >Seiryuu's... " > >"She's in a blue aura... she CAN'T be the Suzaku no Miko. NEPHLITE: Of course not! Suzaku's priestess has a neon pink aura with green highlights. >Let's just pretend we never saw her and get the other chick." > >They nodded to each other again. JADEITE: Then their heads all knocked together. Thank you! > >Akira, as quick as lightning, ran in the other direction. But to the >bandits, it seemed she moved with the shadow itself. Akira ran... and >ran. ZOISITE: [Akira] God made me fast... God made me fast... > She wouldn't let her watery eyes be welcomed by the wind. >Anything to get away from... from HER! Running through thorn bushes, >jumping through trees, tripping over rocks, jumping down small hills, >Akira did all of this without losing speed. When she was at the base >of the mountain, she hid behind a bush, and sat down. NEPHLITE: Ummm... ZOISITE: Not now, Akira! > >Her clothes were a mess now. Her jeans had little tear marks, her >sweater was nearly torn. Her friend had slapped her. Sniffling, she >brought her knees up to her chest, and cried. > > > >*** MALACHITE: Better cue up the theme song. > > >Yamiko stared in the direction that Akira ran off to. Walking in step >with the bandits, she lowered her head guiltily. I didn't need to do >that... Akira's voice stayed fresh in her mind. > > > >Flashback ZOISITE: I hate flashbacks. NEPHLITE: They're always linear, filled with convoluted events and dialogue, and usually colored in sepia tones. > > >"Don't you care about your saftey?!" >"We'll stay together!" >"You are SO READY to jump into bed!" MALACHITE: [Akira] Meatball-head! >"Aren't you?!" >"Aren't you?..." >*SLAP* NEPHLITE: The wonders of stock footage. > >End Flashback > > > >All Yamiko could remember was the sound that was made when her hand >impacted against Akira's face. She walked in silence. JADEITE: Listen for its sound. MALACHITE: Oh, she must worship the neon god. > She felt like >she was in a black void.. NEPHLITE: Created by Black Lady. ZOISITE: It's a black day under a black hole sun... > with Akira's voice arguing with her as it >did before. > >"Don't you care about your saftey?!" > >"We'll stay together!" > >"You are SO READY to jump into bed!" ALL: Aren't you?! > >"Aren't you?!" > >"Aren't you?..." > >*SLAP* MALACHITE: [prissy] You must *never* slap me! > >"We're here." > >Yamiko crashed into the block wall in front of her. JADEITE: Woah... ZOISITE: Yusaku Godai, eat your heart out. > >"Watch it." He growled. "We're here. Now we're gonna take you to our >leader..." > >Yamiko shook her head, trying to free herself from her conscience and >Akira's voice. Stop thinking about her now, Yamiko. Genrou's here! >Yamiko grinned. "We get to see Genrou now, hai?!" Yamiko asked >cheerfully while jumping up and down. NEPHLITE: [Lina] We're gonna have dragon! Dragon dragon dragon-- OTHERS: ... > >"No." > > > >*** JADEITE: Nice. > >Akira roughly wiped her tears away. Who needs her ANYWAY?! I don't >cry... I'm a saiyajin.. I don't care about her... Her eyes were puffy >and red. But that was nothing compared to how she was feeling. > > > >*** MALACHITE: She feels like a bunch of asterisks. >Flashback > > > >The windows broke, blowing shards everywhere. Akira saw herself run >to protect Yamiko. NEPHLITE: Definitely a flashback. I can see the muted gray tones. ZOISITE: Definitely a flashback. All we need is Miaka stating the name of each character. >"Yamiko, daijyobu?!" >"Hai!" > > > >Flashback JADEITE: Again? > > >"We're friends, right?" >"RIGHT!" ZOISITE: Hai! MALACHITE: Correct. NEPHLITE: So it seems. JADEITE: I think so. > >End Flashbacks > > > >Akira sighed. *I* don't need her! She laid on her back, staring at >the stars... searching for an answer. NEPHLITE: --and a complete copy of the Claire Bible. MALACHITE: Answer me... Answer me... > >Akira turned on her side, closed her eyes, and attempted to sleep. >Within seconds, she was tossing and turning. > >"Why can't *I* sleep?!" She groaned. She knew she couldn't fight it. >Getting her backpack, she flew towards where she had come from. JADEITE: Impressive. ZOISITE: She's a super-saiyajin. Get used to it. >Besides, Yamiko wasn't going to be taken straight to the leader for >nothing. Plus, she would see her suffer a bit too. MALACHITE: [Akira] That little hussy... she'll pay! > >"Aw hell. I hate my damn conscience." Jumping to a tree, she smirked. >"Yami-chan better thank me for this..." With that, she shot out of >the tree as a blur and flew towards Yamiko's ki, spinning and >flipping. Feeling giddy again, she breathed a sigh of relief and >looked down at the ground below her to spot Yamiko. > > > JADEITE: It just... stops. ZOISITE: There's four more parts. MALACHITE: How do you know? ZOISITE: Nephlite told me. MALACHITE: Oh. >Review Story >Title: Continuations of the Shijintenchisho CHAOS >Censor: PG >Name: >Email: (optional) >Review: JADEITE: Anyone care to offer a comment? MALACHITE: It was funny at times. ZOISITE: I dunno... The fic had a point, but it took a long time in getting there. JADEITE: Well, at least I understood most of it. And thanks to Beryl's high-quality screen, I could see all the super-deformed parts. ZOISITE: ... NEPHLITE: I liked it. [Pause.] NEPHLITE: That's all I have to say. > > > >Home | About Us | Awards | Nonprofit Status | Disclaimer > > > ZOISITE: Let's go. MALACHITE: Right with you. [They leave.] -- TO BE CONTINUED immediately! -Alan February 2, 2000 e-mail: ChrOtaku@xoommail.com Anime humor: members.xoom.com/ChrOtaku Nega-Hell: fanficoutlet.tripod.com/negahell Elfquest spoofs: eq_addiction.tripod.com "Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics, DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. "Fushigi Yuugi: The Mysterious Play" is copyright 1992- 2000 Yuu Watase, Viz, Pioneer, Flower Comics, and others. The idea of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make money off it. Stinger: >"We're just stuck in another world. FY to be specific! Geez, and we >know a little bit about what's gonna happen! "So which one's really better -- wolves in sheep's clothing, or wolves who look like wolves?"